


Hopelessly Devoted (To You)

by Midnight_Magic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst? if you can call it that, Blinging up baby, Fluff I guess, Friends to Lovers, HAPPPY HAPPY ENDING, Homophobia, M/M, Mpreg Harry, Niall is a leprechaun, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Teacher/Student, URDU!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:50:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7158179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Magic/pseuds/Midnight_Magic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His eyes were wide, face so pale he almost seemed the colour of porcelain. His hair cascaded around his shoulders but the curls were tangled, untidy. Harry stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes unblinking.<br/>He looked down at the contents of his hands.<br/>Positive.</p><p>(Or the one, Where Harry thinks he is broken and needs fixing, But all Louis wants is to love him)<br/>Student/Teacher AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hopelessly Devoted (To You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [princessharold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessharold/gifts).



> First of all I’d like to apologize to PrincessHarold for taking literally forever to write this. Your prompts were awesome and I’m glad I could work with it. I hope this is worth the wait and you enjoy it! Now this took a whole country to write, and I want to thank all my friends for the yelling and encouragement, most especially my Best friend, Keith. He is the most amazing writer and biggest Beyoncé stans I know. His works were a huge inspiration, check him out on Wattpad at MusicIsSanity.  
> To the moderators of this awesome exchange, I’m sorry you had to put up with my super slow writing, and annoying Writers block, athough my PC crashing when I was almost done at first was a total discouragement because I lost all my files.  
> To my AWESOME! AMAZING! BEAUTIFUL! Beta, Daisy, A tonloads of kisses and hugs for the help and I sincerely apologize for all the troubles through last minute editing, despite your sickness and examinations.  
> This was a joy to write, and I hope it's a joy to read too!  
> WARNING! ( Non-Con rape/ Minor death character.)  
> (P.S.) Excessive use of Psychology terms. Pardon my Urdu, everything I wrote were from 17 years of watching Indian movies excessively. Lol!  
> Also, excuse some British inaccuracy, I'm African after all, and for some reason everything in Italics is gone. Please excuse that also.
> 
> Blinging up Baby! Side-Pairing of Ziam! .
> 
> All Mistakes are Mine.  
> Enjoy!

It was 2.15am. The phone rang. His boyfriend was dead.

 

____  
Louis hated a lot of things: early mornings (specifically Mondays), cold pizza, his cranky asshole of a neighbour, puddles, the list goes on, he hates a shitload of things, you get the idea. However, early Monday mornings seemed to be right there on top of that list.  
Louis sighed as he slowly got out of bed, cursing at the old alarm clock that won’t shut up. Yeah, he may have had it since he was five years old, but that clock is one of his most priced possessions, so shoot him for being a sentimental idiot that refuses to let go of a clock he’s had for most of his life.  
Louis went through his morning routine robotically: rinse face, brush teeth, set up kettle to boil, shower, dress, eat breakfast, drink tea, leave penthouse.  
The morning was cold for March, as he stepped out onto the street of his complex, Lexham Villas. He tugged his coat a bit tighter around himself and set off for London Bridge Station after shouting a good morning to the doorman. Eric was a rather astonishing man, he was probably the weirdest person Louis had ever met. Every day he had a new issue and today it appeared to be deafness, as indicated by the explanation he had managed to scrawl out onto some cardboard hung up above his head on the wall, It was only March, but the darkness was still lightly seeping away at 6 o’clock, and the spring mist made his eyes water relentlessly as he navigated between the other rush hour commuters heading to work. As usual, the station was packed and people were jostled back and forth as they made their way down to the platforms. Louis had to hold his breath as a woman in front of him had over-sprayed on a mixture of perfumed deodorant and the smell was nauseatingly overpowering.  
The train ride to Cambridge was pretty uneventful with Louis lost in his thoughts throughout. As the announcement boomed over the speakers, Louis was jostled back into reality, the nerves finally setting in. It was his first day on the job; although he was just 24, Louis was already on his way up the pyramid to self actualisation, as stated by Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of need propounded in 1952.  
He had graduated Manchester University at just 20 with a first in Psychology for his Bachelor’s degree, then had moved on to complete his Masters and PhD. Three years later he finished with higher grades and recommendations than anyone else in his field. He also succeeded in presenting a thesis which proved just how wrong the theories of motivations, as stated by Abraham Maslow, were and his professional project was accepted and now being used by various students, professors and psychologists in their various fields.  
Louis was well on his way to giving Sigmund Freud a run for his money. He had also been presented with a Nobel prize award for “Tremendous Impact on Academics and Society”. It didn’t come as much of a surprise when he was approached by the University of Cambridge Chancellor, himself to take up a slot as a senior lecturer in the psychology department. After many negotiations and a lot of consideration, he now stood a nervous wreck outside his designated office, adrenaline rushing through his veins.  
Tea. Yes he needed tea. Louis muttered to himself as he set out to raid the staff room for use in the department. He made a mental note to remember to bring down his own stock of Yorkshire tea, having to make do with Lipton for today.  
He was hunched over the cabinet, shooting out quick replies to his messages as he waited for the kettle to boil, when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. He span around so quickly he might have had a whiplash.  
“Oh dear, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The lady, probably in her mid forties said, her eyes twinkling with laughter. “Uh.. Hi, I’m Barbara, and you must be Louis.” She held out her hand in an handshake, eyeing Louis up and down not so subtly. “Everyone ‘round here calls me Babs though.”  
Louis nodded his head and took her hand, a soft smile etched upon his face, her thick Irish accent drawing him in, “Such a pleasure meeting you Babs.”  
“Now if you’ll be a darling, how about you make me a cuppa too and I can show you around a bit. What d'ya say? Deal?”  
“I haven’t even been here a day, and you’re already using me for all I'm worth.” Louis chuckled, hands to his chest in faux offense. “Arghh! I feel used.”  
“Oi! He’s a drama queen. Just the way I like ‘em.” said Babs, her voice high in amusement, “Now, prove your worth and make me a magnificent cuppa and I might just consider being yer sugar mommy.”  
“Okay Ma'am.” Louis smirked, “As long as I get special favours.”  
“Trust me, you’ll be getting lots of that.” Babs chuckled, slapping Louis' butt as she walked off to her office.

 

___  
Louis was just stepping into class when his phone pinged indicating a message. A smile lit up his face when he saw it was from Zayn.  
Have a fun day in class, mate ☺. Try not to ramble off too much shit to those poor kids! Haha! And go slow on the tea. I might take your profess-sy ass out to dinner tonight. Might! No promise. Love ya loads. Xoxo.  
He typed a quick reply to Zayn before locking his phone. Feeling a surge of energy run through his veins, a mixture of both excitement and nerves.  
“Cmon Tommo. You can do this.”  
Louis took a deep breath in before pushing the door open. His wristwatch read 8.15am, he had enjoyed the early morning in the company of Babs and two other male lecturers: Conner Williams and Allen Barrows. He was definitely going to enjoy it here. His class started 8.00am, that was 15 minutes for his students to get seated and ready.  
Everywhere went still and silent as he stepped in. He heard a few excited whispers as he walked over to the big whiteboard, spelling out his name in full bold letters across it.  
Dr. Louis Tomlinson.  
“Good morning everyone” he began strolling round the room, his hands in his pocket. “So, uh.. I’m…”  
“Louis! Louis Tomlinson!. Oh shit! I mean Dr. Tomlinson, I mean which ever you prefer.” A girl in a yellow sweater bursts out, rambling on, trying her hardest to contain her obvious excitement.  
“Uh, thanks miss…” Louis said, smiling little.  
“Amber, sir. Amber Boone.” The girl replied, an huge grin plastered broadly on her face in return.  
“…. Miss Amber.” He shook his head. “Thanks for that. I’m sure we all can feel your excitement.”  
“Now, since we all know how I am, courtesy of miss Amber over there, let’s give her a clap for that.’’ He continued with a smile, waiting for the applause to die down while he busies himself with rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, “I’d like us all to introduce ourselves so as to get well acquainted with one another. So shall we?” 

___  
Harry was late. Like royally late for class and it was all his roommates fault, Niall and Liam. He was so going to kill them. Okay, maybe not kill them because he couldn’t even hurt a roach if he tried, but he was definitely getting them for this. Maybe he could refuse to cook dinner or dye their hair pink. He would think of something later, right now he had to get to class.  
He muttered a few sorry’s to people as he sprinted down the hall, bumping into people ever other second.  
“Oops!” Harry muttered quietly as he stumbled into class. Everybody turned towards him, attention now on only him. There was a young man standing in front, gaze focused on him.  
“Hello.” A voice said, drawing Harry out from his daze.  
Harry was staring with his mouth open. He would be a sorry man, he decided, if he didn’t enjoy this view.  
The man's hair was short, brunette, and almost radiant it looked so soft, and gosh, his eyes, they were a vivid blue, bluer than the lakes he used to visit when he was little. He stood with his hands tucked inside the pockets of his black skinny jeans that hugged his waist perfectly, highlighting his curves, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing a few tattoos peeking out. He also had the most gorgeous face Harry had ever seen, his glasses were perched upon his nose giving him an aura of sophistication.  
“Do you often stare this much at your professors, or am I just an exception?”  
His voice jolted Harry.  
“Uhh, Hi?” Harry spoke slowly this time, his voice a bit more of a drawl as he nervously pulled at the hem of his oversized cashmere sweater. “Am I in the wrong class?”  
“Depends which class you’re meant to be in, curly,” Louis grinned, cocking his head slightly at the stranger who just interrupted his class.  
This was becoming one hell of an awkward encounter, Harry mused. No, he shouldn’t be checking out his Professor. Although if he must confess, this ethereal man before him looked a little too young to be lecturing a final year university class like Harry's.  
“Harry Styles. Just Harry is fine.” Nice one, idiot. Harry felt himself flush.  
Louis hummed, “Nice to meet you just Harry.”  
Louis moved closer towards Harry, a smile resting upon his face, “Now if you’ll just step into the room and take a seat, just Harry, we might be able to continue.”  
Harry quietly tries to find a seat, well aware of everyone’s attention still on him. He prayed silently to the Gods for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.  
He was so not in the mood for this class anymore.  
Louis carried on with his teaching, catching himself more than a few times glancing over at ”just Harry”, who was seated quietly, arms still crossed over his chest, body slouched. To anyone looking, it would appear all of his attention was on whatever was being discussed, but if there was one act Louis' had perfected all through the twenty-eight years of his life, it was reading people, and he was willing to bet ”just Harry’s” mind was far from the class discussion.  
Maybe the give away was his posture, or the way his whole face was scrunched up in deep thought, his lips in what Louis must admit was a cute pout, or the way he kept letting out a deep sigh. Or maybe it was the distant look that was cast over his eyes. What was that, Louis wondered? Fear? Sadness? It was unreadable.  
Louis was intrigued.  
Louis checked the time and realised first class was about over. He quickly gave out some research questions to his students as they were packing up their books and materials.  
“Next class, we’ll be looking at the various defence mechanisms as illustrated by Sigmund Freud and I want these assignments submitted on my desk by Wednesday, no later.” Louis started cleaning off the board as a few goodbyes and affirmatives were muttered from behind him.  
Harry silently packed up his bag and proceeded to leave the classroom.  
He was already gone by the time Louis turned around.  
Louis was more than intrigued.  
___  
Louis could smell Zayn's perfume everywhere and he hadn’t even stepped into his apartment.  
His dog, Fluff, came running to his feet as he unlocked the door, waggling her tail and yapping excitedly.  
“Hey baby,” He scooped her up, cuddling her close, “Did my little girl miss daddy? You did? Aww I know you did.”  
Louis made kissing sounds at the dog, letting her kiss him back.  
“I honestly do not know what’s more weird, you talking to the dog or making gross kissing sounds at her.” Zayn said, feigning disgust from behind Louis, “Either way, you’ve reached the highest peak of weirdness.”  
Louis turned to Zayn, who still stood at the entrance of the kitchen, a smile lighting up his face.  
“You’re just jealous Fluff gets more love from me than you’ll ever get,” Louis smirked, sticking out his tongue at Zayn. “Right baby? Uncle Zaynie is just jealous of us. We’re what I call Relationship goals.”  
Louis put Fluff down and he walked towards Zayn, engulfing him in a hug.  
“I missed you today,” Zayn spoke into Louis’ neck, inhaling his comforting smell.  
“Me too Zaynie.”  
They broke apart, smiling at each other.  
Zayn reached out to touch Louis' cheek, concern showing on his face.  
Louis had been friends with Zayn since they were just idiot first years in University. They had met at a party, Louis was shitfaced and was being very loud, belting out slurred lyrics to an Elton John song. Zayn had approached him out of nowhere and kissed him smack on the lips to get him to be quiet then disappeared.  
Louis and Zayn had later bumped into each other at a bookstore, and they had pretty much clicked. Louis bullied him into paying for half of his book and Zayn had asked him to model for one of his paintings in return.  
That was the beginning of their friendship, over the years they’d gotten exceptionally close and had started a friends with benefits thing. Louis was quite skeptical about that at first, he would be damned if he let something as stupid as sex and feelings ruin what he had with Zayn. But, Zayn had pretty much told him that it was nothing big as long as they didn’t make it anymore than just sex.  
“Go clean up, love, I'll set up dinner and you can tell me all about your first day at school,” Zayn gestured towards Louis' room, “You smell awful.”  
“Yeah right, like my smell doesn’t turn you on,” Louis snickered and made his way towards his room, making sure to wiggle his bum slowly and seductively.  
“Everything about you turns me on,” Zayn whistled, “Work that ass, baby.”

____  
Dinner went by as usual, Louis constantly eating more from Zayn's plate, both bickering back and forth. Zayn was a good cook compared to Louis, who could only make simple meals to get by.  
When Dinner was over, Louis volunteered to clear the table and load the plates in the dishwasher whilst Zayn went to freshen up.  
“Babe, your Mum called me this afternoon.” Zayn said as they both sat on the centre rug in the parlour, sipping red wine with an episode of Blacklist playing in the background.  
“Oi, I swear she calls you more than me these days.” Louis huffed, kicking at Zayn’s feet. “You mum-stealer.”  
“Mum-stealer? Seriously Tommo? You do talk some weird shit,” Zayn shook his head in disbelief.  
“What? It’s true.”  
“Whatever, Lou.” He replied, his attention back on the show.  
A peaceful silence ensued, Zayn cuddling into Louis' side.  
“Oh, tell me about your day. I want the whole scoop, from hot uni boys to the weird oldies in your department.” Zayn stared at Louis.  
“First off, Zaynie, Babs isn’t a weird oldie. She’s quite the opposite.” Louis said, his eyebrow raised in offense, “And there weren’t any ‘hot' uni boys. Mate, I’m a respectable professor, and I don't check out any of my students.”  
Zayn looked at Louis for a moment, then burst out laughing.  
“Ha ha, laugh all you want but I’m a professional and decent professor. There’s a reason I’m called Dr. Tomlinson.” He stated, huffing dramatically.  
“Yeah right. Dr. Tomlinson, the decent, respectable, professional professor,” Zayn trying to stifle a laugh. “C’mon babe, tell me.”  
”Okay, okay.” Louis finally spoke, pouting a little. “There is one boy...”  
“Aha! I knew it!”  
“Do you want to listen or not?”  
“Sorry babe, sorry. You may continue.”  
Louis gave him a once-over, waiting for Zayn to stop talking, “Okay, there’s this boy and he has such beautiful green eyes, and he is tall, like really tall. He’s beautiful, like he was meant in a painting.” He smiled, letting the memory of Harry wash over him.  
“He also has these curls, and he is just beautiful. You wouldn’t believe it Zayn, he is just unbelievable.”  
Zayn smiled softly at Louis, biting his lip a little in concentration.  
“Why are staring at me like that? It’s creepy.”  
“Oh. My. God.” Zayn said, punctuating each word with a pause and a giggle. “You, my friend, are in love. In love I tell you. When can I meet him? What’s his name, his star sign, his favourite number? I gotta call your Mum, it’s a Tommo Wedding.”  
Louis groaned, rubbing his eyes in annoyance. “What are we playing here, 20 questions? Babe, do not get ahead of yourself. No, you cannot meet him.”  
“But why? I gotta know if he’s right for you.” Zayn pouted.  
“That’s the thing, Zayn” Louis said, his voice rising in frustration. “He’s more than perfect...”  
“But? I sense a but there.” Zayn’s pout deepened.  
“But, something is off. His eyes are almost empty, it was like I could feel some kind of sadness myself, just from looking at him.”  
“Maybe it’s a family issue.” Zayn shrugged.  
“It’s more than that, I know it. He looked hurt, maybe even scared. If someone’s hurt him really badly I-” Louis sighed, ”I just can’t comprehend why anyone would want to hurt a person as special as he seems.”  
Louis sipped his wine in thought, his posture slouched inwards.  
Zayn looked at Louis, concern written on his face.  
“Just don’t get into your head that you can help him. He isn’t some charity case Lou, he’s your student.” He took Louis' hand, pressing it against his own cheek to get his attention. “Don’t Lou. Don’t get involved. I don’t want you getting hurt just because you have some sort of saviour complex.”  
“I know.” Louis smiled sheepishly, kissing Zayn’s hand as it rested on his face. “Now please, let me concentrate on Reddington, he’s a badass.”  
“Not until you tell me about the oldies in your office, you goof.”

 

___  
His eyes were wide, face so pale he almost seemed the colour of porcelain. His hair cascaded around his shoulders but the curls were tangled, untidy. Harry stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes unblinking.  
He looked down at the contents of his hands.  
Positive.  
This was the fifth one, they couldn’t all be wrong, could they?  
He felt cold. Cold and alone.  
Pregnant.  
He stood there before the bathroom mirror staring blankly.  
You’re pregnant.  
The thought flashed through his mind again. He stood, motionless, heart racing. How was Harry supposed to comprehend this? He was lost, out of his depth.  
He slowly lifted his shirt with shaking hands, he looked at his stomach. He wasn’t showing yet, of course, but the thought of a life growing inside him was a lot.  
“It’s going to be okay.” He muttered, not sure if he believed his own words. He walked out of the bathroom, glancing around the space of his own bedroom.  
He looked at his bedside table, his eye catching the clock.  
10pm.  
He got ready for bed slowly, taking off his shirt, moisturising his face, and pulling his hair into a bun on top of his head.  
Harry lay down his bed. Suddenly the thought of the beautiful professor flashed through his mind. He chuckled silently.  
Harry closed his eyes and waited to fall asleep, letting thoughts of a certain man with blue eyes cloud his mind. Hopefully it would keep his demons at bay.  
For now.

___

The next morning, Harry was woken by Niall crashing around his room which is, unfortunately for Harry, situated next to his own bedroom. He knows it’s Niall because the crashing is accompanied by loud swearing. Leave it to Niall to become a walking cliché of an Irishman. Harry groaned and rolled over, willing the world to stop spinning and his head to stop throbbing. The light peeking through the blinds was offensively bright and Harry squeezed his eyes tight shut again, wishing for darkness. Last night all came rushing back to him. In one spine shivering moment, he was pregnant.  
He thought about what he wanted to do now. First things first, he had to make a doctor’s appointment to get a more in depth pregnancy test done, with any luck it would come out negative, a voice in his head hoped, but when am I the kind of person who has luck?  
What was he going to tell Liam and Niall? What does he say to his mum, dad, and sister? He felt disgusted at himself. He wanted desperately to leave his own skin and become somebody else.  
You’re disgusting.  
Pathetic little shit. The voice in his head pressed.  
You made him do this to you and now he’s gone and you're alone.  
Harry felt like screaming. He gripped his duvet cover hard, closing his eyes tight.  
Slut. So eager.  
He inhaled deep, feeling as if he’d had several blows to his gut. His eyes were stinging, tears building rapidly.  
“Harry?”  
He jerked his head up, gaze landing on Liam.  
“Are you okay, Haz?” Liam questions again, concern etched in his voice. He stood at the door to Harry’s room.Harry swallowed thickly.  
“'Course, Li.” He forced a smile, “Just a little headache s’all.”  
Liam eyed him suspiciously and sighed, deciding to let it go for now.  
“Okay, if you say so. I made breakfast, just thought I'd let you know.” He said, looking at Harry a little longer, then turning on his heel and heading out back to the kitchen.  
Harry finally reluctantly stood up from his bed and padded barefoot towards the kitchen. A soft smile lighting up his face as he saw Liam had outdone himself by making his favourite, pancakes with eggs benedict. Harry was still refusing to cook for Liam and Niall as punishment for making him late to class. Speaking of class, Harry found himself smiling as a certain face flashed through his mind.  
Dr. Tomlinson.  
“Oi Harry, would you quit standing there with that look on your face, you’re creeping me out.” Niall complained, startling Harry out of his daze.  
Harry glared at Niall.  
“Who has Pancakes, eggs, and cereal with beer, in the mornings?” he asked Niall, flicking him on the ear as he walked over to the counter to pour himself some tea and fill a plate.  
“I told him already!” Liam’s voice piped up from his room.  
“Shut up, wanker.” Niall laughed loudly, clearly unbothered by Liam's disappointment in him, “Haz, this is what I call a proper breakfast.” Niall grinned, “but unfortunately, you lot wouldn’t understand that.” Niall shouted so that Liam could hear from the other room.  
Harry mumbled out a response to Niall, set his plate down opposite to him, and then playfully ruffled his hair, earning a curse word or two from him in response.  
Harry poked around with his food, eating slowly as he was feeling less than one hundred percent.  
Oh God, he thought, a change in diet is a pregnancy symptom.  
“Are you okay, Harry?” Niall asked, sipping on his beer and looking pointedly at Harry sat across from him.  
“Yeah of course. Stop asking me that.” Harry snapped.  
Niall looked at Harry with a gentle expression on his face.  
Harry sighed, “Niall, I’m sorry, I’m a bit distracted today, that’s all.”  
Niall smiled. “Nah, it’s okay. I understand. It’s just that we care about you. You’ve been off ever since - you know…” He trailed off, not finishing his sentence.  
Harry winced. He didn’t want to think about that right now. He didn’t want to think about him.  
”Yeah.” He said quietly, “I know you care. I just… Yeah, I’m over him, don’t worry.” He looked up and met Niall’s eyes, trying his hardest to convince him.  
Niall stood up to clear his plate, and then came up behind Harry to hug him, pressing his face into the hair at the back of Harry’s neck and whispering softly to him,  
“We love and care about you, Harry. You can always talk to us, we’ll be here for you if and when you need us.”  
Harry patted Niall’s hand that was wrapped around him, “Thanks Niall.”  
“Yeah. Eat up quick, or Liam and I are leaving your arse behind for class, tosser.”  
They both laughed, Harry’s cheek dimpling slightly as he watched Niall’s retreating form. His smile grew even bigger as he heard Niall’s voice from the shower, singing loudly.  
Harry had a long couple of weeks ahead of him and couldn’t be more grateful that his boys cared.

___

Louis couldn't help but glance at the door, anticipating the arrival of on particular student.  
He was not waiting for Harry to arrive to class. No he was not.  
Who was he kidding? Of course he was.  
“Uhh, pardon me, sorry, what did you say?” Louis stammered out, directing his attention back to the student asking a question. Harry could wait.  
“Yeah,” The boy repeated himself, “I asked if, according to Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of Love, what do we categorise an abusive relationship as? I mean, according to Sternberg, every relationship is built on at least one or more of the three stated elements: Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. So what element do you think an abusive relationship consists of?”

Louis sighed, walking up to the board to draw up a diagram to explain his answer. He stopped short though, as he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned around to see Harry sliding to take a seat beside a red haired girl. He smiled to himself, returning his attention back to the board.  
“Essentially, according to Sternberg,” He began twirling the marker around his hands, “Every relationship, from friendships to family to general daily interaction with strangers, is characterised by a certain one of these elements.”  
He swallows, pocketing the marker and walking around the class.  
“Now, if you’ll take a look at the diagram on the board, this is The Colour Wheel, which was propounded by John Lee in 1973. He identified six styles of love and referred to them as the "colours of love," even though they do not correspond to actual colours.”  
He stopped, briefly glancing at Harry.  
Harry was sat still, his shoulders tense as he listened intently to what Louis was saying.  
“An abusive relationship, according to John Lee’s colour wheel has two essential elements which are Ludus and Mania. Ludus is characterised by a need for excitement and a view of love as a game, most Abusers are often Ludic in nature which is what makes them prey on and abuse their victims. There’s a certain excitement and comfort they get from abusing their partners either physically, emotionally or mentally. However, mania involves obsession, jealousy, and an extreme need to be in control; the abusers are more often than not, obsessed with their abused partners. They will often keep tabs on all their activities, from the friends they keep to what they wear, and will exhibit a show of control and power over their partners by trying to pick out a specific lifestyle of their choice for their partner to live by. They get easily jealous and act out in a fit of rage, sometimes hitting their partners or sexually assaulting them to show their control and power.”  
Louis took a breath and continued. “Now I’m just your Professor, not a dating coach,” A ripple of quiet laughter travelled around the room, Louis looked pointedly at Harry, and held his gaze for a brief moment, trying to read the expression on his face. “But, it's always wise to understand that, whilst conflict is an essential part of every relationship, there is a line between a fight and abuse in a relationship. If you ever think you see the warning signals, please get help or leave before things blow out proportion.”  
Louis’ gaze landed back on Harry, unwavering as he finished talking, he saw but didn’t really hear his students’ applaud. Louis was jolted out of his daze when he realised it had hit the end of class.  
He looked away, “So, that’ll be all for today. Don't forget to prepare for your test next week. See you tomorrow.”  
“Harry, please wait behind I’d like to see you briefly.” Harry looked at him in slight surprise and Louis suspected his own expression was not too dissimilar.  
Harry packed up his bag and watched everyone else file out, muttering out a few hellos to some students until it remained just Louis and him.  
Harry coughed nervously as he approached Louis, “You wanted to see me?”  
Louis looked at him and smiled, perching on the front of his desk, “You came in late to class today, and I noticed you also missed the last two classes.”  
Harry adjusted his bag tighter around his shoulder, “Yeah I apologise for that, Dr Tomlinson.” He spoke lowly, his voice a soft drawl.  
“Louis. You can call me Louis. Dr. Tomlinson makes me sound old.” Louis said, finally earning himself a low chuckle out of Harry.  
Dear Lord, he mused, He’s even got dimples.  
“Okay, Louis.” Harry smiled back at him.  
They stood, smiling at each other.  
“You know what,” Louis stood from his desk. Harry’s eyes wandered briefly to the Louis arms as he rolled up his sleeves. He felt a blush creeping up his cheeks at the thoughts that crossed his mind. Louis pretended not to notice.  
“How about you and I get coffee together now? We can talk, I'll catch you up on the classes you missed, and you can give me all the dirt on how my teaching sucks. What do you say?”  
Harry visibly hesitated.  
Yeah now it's just coffee. Then what?  
Tell him no. Don’t make him a part of your fucked up life.  
“Harry?” Louis prompted softly, lightly touching Harry’s arm.  
He jerked and looked up.  
“I asked if we could get coffee together?” Louis repeated.  
“Yeah sure, that’d be great.” He smiled slightly at Louis, trying his hardest to push away the negative thoughts.  
Louis returned the smile and pocketed his phone, “You zone out a lot, ya know? I sometimes wonder what goes on in that pretty little head of yours.”  
A lot. Too much, you honestly do not want to know.  
“It’s just school stress, Dr. Tomli - Louis.”  
Louis nodded. He wanted to press the subject harder but right now, he settled for a coffee date. Not a date he’s your student, idiot.  
Louis motioned towards the door and they began to walk out of the building towards Louis’s car.  
“Oh wow!” Harry exclaimed as they approached the car after Louis pointed it out, “Your car is beautiful.”  
Louis smiled as he watched Harry lightly run his hands over the car.  
“It’s a 1964 Vintage Bentley, and she means a lot to me, so be careful.” Louis explained as they got in, strapping their seat belts.  
“I know! I’ve never seen one in real life before.” Harry's eyes twinkled. It briefly crossed Louis’ mind that this the happiest he had seen Harry, and it was only over a car. He wondered how enthusiastic and bright Harry must be when he’s not going through so much, God Damn whoever had to go hurting him.  
“This must have cost you a hell of a lot. They’re really expensive and rare.” Harry glanced around in awe, the excitement not leaving his eyes.  
“You bet it did. My grandad got it for me as a graduation gift before he died. Everyone in my family knows about my obsession with collecting cars.” Louis grinned.  
Harry turned in his seat and looked at Louis excitedly, “You collect cars? Oh my god, here was I thinking I’d never find someone who had a fascination with cars like I do.”  
“Just wait until you see my Lamborghini.” He stated proudly, pulling up in front of the local Costa. He parked his car carefully on the pavement. He was probably going to get a ticket, but to be honest he didn’t care because he got to spend his afternoon with Harry.  
They stepped out of the car and walked towards the coffee shop.  
Harry quickly found them a seat while Louis went to the counter to place their order.  
Harry picked up from before as Louis slid into the chair opposite him,  
“So, you have a Lambo?”  
“Yeah I do. I got it quite recently and it’s my baby and I refuse to drive it to work. I don’t want any girls thinking I’m the next eligible bachelor for them to pull.” Louis grinned when his comment earned a burst of laughter from Harry. There was humour, and sort of lazy satisfaction in the way Louis spoke. It was hard for Harry not to appreciate it.  
Harry’s laugh was melodic, Louis could listen to it all day.  
“You must be loaded.” Harry looked impressed. He suddenly couldn’t help but notice that even in just a pair of jeans and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up, Louis looked wealthy and elegant. He was willing to bet that was a YSL designer shirt Louis had on now. If there was anything Harry knew almost as well as he knew cars, it was fashion.  
“Uh, yeah something like that.” Louis didn’t elaborate and a silence washed over the two.  
A waiter came to deliver their drinks and Harry picked up his coffee, taking a small sip.  
“You're beautiful when you laugh, Harry. It makes your eyes sparkle in a way that lights up your face. It really is something.”  
Harry lowered his drink and looked at Louis. There was something about the way he looked at Harry. Nobody had looked at him like that in a long time. Not since - Harry took a breath.  
Attraction.  
Harry knew the look on Louis’ face, even worse, he knew the sensation running through him. But that voice wouldn’t go away, reminding him it wasn’t anything he could feel again. Telling him he didn’t deserve to feel anything like that again.  
The sudden need to leave and get as far away from Louis as he could shot through Harry.  
“Do you often drive down from London every day?” He found himself asking to mask the feeling and change the subject.  
Louis jumped. His gaze passed over Harry’s features one by one. “Most of the time I take the tube, but on days like today when the sun’s out and it looks like it’ll stay that way, I’ll take my car and enjoy the drive up.”  
Harry hummed in acknowledgment.  
“You don’t take well to compliments, do you Harry?” Louis sighed, ”What happened, to make you so closed off? You’ve got these walls built up and I’d do anything to learn what’s behind those walls. I want to help.”  
“Don’t, Lou. Please don’t.” Harry whispered harshly, looking away from Louis.  
Lou. Where had that come from?  
Harry, you don’t want to do this. The voice in his head got louder. Don’t get involved.  
Harry’s posture slackened. He looked so small across the table.  
“Harry, you can talk to me.” He began reaching out to hold Harry’s hand.  
“No!” Harry jerked his hands back, shouting. He was trembling.  
“I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t make me talk about it.” He pleaded.  
Harry stood. “I need to go.” He gathered up his things hurriedly, a panicked expression on his face. If it wasn't for being able to see Harry’s face, Louis’ wouldn't have caught the words spill from his mouth, “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”  
“H, wait up.” Louis rushed to pull out some money from his wallet, throwing some on the table. He ran after Harry, who was just outside the shop.  
Harry suddenly stopped and turned towards Louis,  
“Thanks for the coffee, Louis. But I can’t.” He was choking on tears as he turned and ran, hurrying down the street. He could barely see where he was going but he had to get away. Far away. It was only when he reached the end of the road that realised he was crying.  
Louis stood alone on the street watching Harry’s retreating form. He folded his arms on the side of his car, burying his face.  
Zayn’s words floated through his mind. ”He is not some charity case, Lou… Don’t get involved.”  
He snorted to himself. Too late.  


___  
Harry sat on the sofa with Niall sprawled out beside him, legs on Harry’s lap. He was munching loudly on a bag of crisps.  
“What do you think?” Liam said, walking into the room, looking rather dressed up.  
“You’re going out again?” Niall spoke between a mouthful of crisps.  
“No, Nialler. I just decided it’d be a great idea if I got dressed in my best jeans and took a late night run.” Liam’s voice dripped sarcasm as he rolled his eyes at Niall. “Yes, I’m going out on a date.’’  
“Wanker.” Niall flipped him off.  
”So, what d’you think? Too much?” Liam asked again, looking more at Harry than Niall this time.  
Harry smiled at Liam, taking in his outfit. “You look good, Li. Although I think those black boots you the other day would look better than those.” He pointed at Liam’s sneakers, “And I’d say the black jacket instead of the brown.”  
Liam bent down to hug Harry, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.  
“Get off me, you goof.” Harry feigned disgust, pushing him off and rubbing at his cheeks.  
Liam laughed, hurrying back to his room, “Thanks, Haz.”  
The door bell rang and Liam ran out before Harry or Niall could stand up to get it.  
“I’ve got it!”  
“Hi.”  
Harry and Niall’s attention turned towards the sound of an unfamiliar man’s voice.  
“Wow Liam!” Niall wolf whistled loudly, “You’ve outdone yourself, bro. He is beautiful. And that’s coming from me and I’m as straight as they come.” He looked at the man by the door, who was full on grinning at the complement.  
“Niall!” A blush crept rapidly up Liam’s face.  
The man was dressed in the comfiest looking jeans Harry had ever seen as well as a dark green cashmere sweater that was rolled up over his lean muscles. It blended well with his brown skin and showed off the tattoos on his arms beautifully.  
He was attractive, Harry thought. Niall was right, Liam had most definitely outdone himself, this was guy was a catch. Everything about him screamed rich, rich, rich. And now that Harry thought of it, he looked familiar. Harry absently wondered whether they’d met before.  
“I’m Zayn.” The man spoke, extending his hand towards Harry to shake.  
Harry took his hand, recognition lighting up his face, “Zayn? As in Zayn Malik? Heir to the Malik empire? Are you kidding me?” Now he knew why the face looked familiar.  
“The one and only, mate” Zayn smiled, his arm around Liam’s waist.  
“Where the fuck did you two meet?” Harry and Niall said at the same time, looking wide eyed at Liam.  
“Jinx!” They laughed and returned their gaze back to Liam.  
“What are we doing, playing Twenty questions?” Liam said, shaking his head.  
Both Niall and Harry glared at him, heads cocked to the side as if to say, we need details, spill.  
Liam sighed, “Remember last month when I went to London to try and get an internship placement?” He spoke, both boys humming along and gesturing for him to continue, “Zayn and I bumped into each other in the lobby of the headquarters.”  
“It was quite the scene. He was so nervous, wouldn't stop stuttering. I swear I thought he went into cardiac arrest when I asked for his number.” Zayn said, laughing at Liam, who was pressed to his side.  
“Well it’s nice to meet you Zayn. I’m Harry, and this weirdo is Niall” Harry said, kicking at Niall’s feet.  
”Hey!” Niall said, slapping at Harry’s kicks. “I’ll have you know that I’m far from weird –”  
“Yeah, you’re insane!” Harry laughed, ducking away from a handful of crisps being thrown his way.  
“Leeyum, the evil green eyed gnome is being mean to me.” Niall said, pouting at Liam for support.  
“Evil green eyed gnome,” Liam turned to Harry, rolling his eyes, “Please stop being mean to precious Nialler. You're wrong anyway, Niall is an insane Leprechaun.”  
Harry and Zayn doubled over in laughter, Liam beamed at his friends, pleased with his joke.  
“If he’s fed regularly and rubbed on the stomach, he vomits up chocolate goodies.”  
“Stupid twats!” Niall said, flipping off both Harry and Liam, “Absolute Wankers.”  
“Well we're get going.” Liam was still laughing as he led Zayn towards the door, “Don’t stay up too late, and Niall please clean up the mess you made.” He pointed towards the crisp bags and beer bottle by Niall’s feet.  
“Bye, It was nice meeting you. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of each other.” Zayn spoke, his eyes twinkling as he raised two of his fingers in a quick salute.  
“Goodbye, lovely Zayn.” Niall waved at them.  
“And don’t forget protection!” Harry shouted cheerily.  
“Shut up.” “Bye.” Both Zayn and Liam replied simultaneously.  
“Wanker.” Niall said again, kicking at Harry’s legs, “You are the absolute worst, I’m telling you.”  
Harry reached forward to ruffle Niall’s hair, “You love us anyway.”  
Niall snorted, “Yeah you wish mate.”  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, both concentrating on the TV.  
“Zayn fucking Malik.” Niall laughed in disbelief.  
“I know.” Harry said.  
“I need to get meself a rich lady like that.”  
Harry hummed in vague agreement.  
He suddenly felt his stomach churning and he like he was going to throw up. Harry stood quickly, running towards the bathroom as fast as he could, Niall following close by.  
He knelt before the toilet, heaving up his dinner. He scrunched his nose in disgust, rubbing slightly at his temples. He flushed and slid onto the floor breathing heavily.  
The doctor had told him about the morning sickness, he hadn’t mentioned it could happen at night too. He groaned inwardly.  
”Haz, are you alright?” Niall looked at Harry as he stood and made his way towards the sink to rinse his mouth and brush his teeth.  
“It’s nothing, Niall.” He lied. “Dinner probably just didn’t agree with me.”  
“You’re sure?” Niall pressed, not faltering.  
“Yes, Niall. Yes I’m fine.”  
He felt bad for lying to Niall. He desperately wanted to cry out and tell Niall everything.  
Don’t! The voice in his head piped up. He’s going to hate you. You’ll disgust him.  
Harry closed his eyes.

___  
Throughout the following two weeks, Louis saw nothing of Harry. On multiple occasions, he was close to telling Zayn what had happened at the coffee shop, but he always stopped himself, scared of his friend’s reaction. It was also partly because whenever they were together, all Zayn would talk about was the new guy he had been seeing.  
His name was Liam, or something like that, Louis wasn’t completely sure. He was a pharmaceutical student in his final year and Zayn had met him when the guy had applied for an internship at Zayn's family’s company.  
The Maliks owned a well known pharmaceutical company, which Zayn was set to inherit one day. The company was the largest drug distributing company worldwide and had more than fifty branches in South America alone.  
Louis loved Zayn’s family like they were his own. In fact, the Malik family was quite close knit with Louis’ own, and while Zayn’s mother, Tricia loved Louis like her own, Zayn’s father Yaser was a man to be reckoned with. He showed little to no care about Louis' sexuality, it was unspoken knowledge that he was homophobic. This fact was like a large sitting elephant in the the room with everyone refusing to acknowledge it. He was a very strongly devout Muslim man who strongly believed marriage was ordained by Allah (SWT) between a man and a woman.  
If he were ever to find out that his first and only son was in fact gay, Zayn knew for certain what fate would fall upon him. Louis suspected this was one of the reasons Zayn remained in the closet to date, only taking the risk as far as one-night stands, which he was always very discreet about. It was also probably why he felt comfortable messing around with Louis. It was just sex, only with someone he cared about and could trust to keep his secret.  
Louis often found himself sympathising with his best friend. He remembered how often Zayn would break down, crying about his inner conflict he always seemed to be fighting, about the pain of having to hide and pretend to be who he wasn’t, and he cried about the emotional strain of keeping up appearance for society’s and religion’s sake but not his own. Most of the time he would end up in Louis' bed, trying to forget.  
Louis was more than happy for his friend, but he was equally worried. Zayn often had this look in his eye whenever he spoke of his ‘boy’, as he put it. The last time Louis remembered Zayn having that look was three years ago and it hadn’t ended well.  
He inhaled deeply, letting his thoughts wander away from Zayn and back to a certain curly-haired boy.  
Louis smiled. Beautiful, beautiful Harry.  
Beautiful, beautiful Harry with the empty eyes.  
Beautiful, beautiful Harry with all of his demons.  
Beautiful, beautiful Harry with all of his walls.  
Beautiful, beautiful Harry who Louis had succeeded in stupidly pushing away.  
Louis had had to postpone the test due to Harry’s absence in class. He had come up with a flimsy excuse for the delay, much to the dismay of his students, who had prepared for the test.  
He felt bad, but convinced himself to let it go. It’s for Harry, I’ve got to protect Harry.

___  
Harry had no idea what he was doing in front of Louis' office. His clothes were dripping wet from the rain after he had walked all the way here in it.  
He’d tried so hard to stay away from Louis. God, he really tried. Now here he stood, shaking, in front of Louis’ office, the only thing separating him from Louis was a wooden door.  
Harry had to be going out of his mind.  
He thought he was getting better, he really thought so. He was using the pills as directed by his psychologist, and she’d told him he was showing some signs of improvement. She must have lied.  
The voices were getting louder by the day. Harry couldn’t look at himself in the mirror anymore. The mirrors reflected someone he barely recognised. He was disgusted by himself, disgusted and repulsed.  
He knew the boys were starting to notice something was wrong but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them. Not yet anyway. Harry’d convinced himself it was better that way, that it was better they didn’t know. Liam was happy, he and Zayn seemed to be good together. Niall was also happy. Mind you, when was Niall not happy?  
He knew they cared about him but he just couldn’t ruin their happiness, he loved them too much for that.  
Harry’s hand was on the door handle and before he could stop himself he was pushing the door open after a gentle knock.  
He stood, staring at Louis, not moving.  
“Harry?” Louis spoke, surprise evident in his voice.  
Harry suddenly couldn’t breathe.  
He turned around ran, wondering why he’d thought it a good idea to come here.  
Harry stood outside of the building, face lifted towards the sky, letting the rain wash over him whilst he shivered from the cold.  
What was happening to him? Why was he here? Coming to see Louis was too impulsive. But his heart was telling him he was wrong.  
He realised that tears were falling down his cheeks, mingling with the rain.  
“Harry?” Harry felt Louis before he heard his voice.  
He slowly became aware of Louis gently shaking his arm. He inhaled deeply, and finally looked at Louis before recoiling. Louis was staring at him with intense eyes clouded with maybe pity? Harry couldn’t tell for sure but he knew he didn’t like it.  
He pulled free of Louis’ grip, breathing deeply.  
“Love…” Louis began, his voice soft and kind. Harry’s heart flipped with the sudden need to fall into Louis as he realised he was exhausted and probably very vulnerable right now.  
Louis drew Harry close, hugging him tightly. Harry lay his head on Louis’ shoulder as Louis placed light kisses on his head. “It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay.”  
Harry didn’t know if it was having Louis so close, or the reassurances being muttered to him, but he found himself letting out another round of tears, this time letting it out without holding back. He needed this, he needed to cry.  
They stood there for a while, the rain washing over the two and Harry couldn’t help but think of how metaphorical the situation was.  
After a while, Harry spoke, “I can’t talk about it yet. Not like this. Not here.”  
“Okay.” Louis said, his gaze focusing solely on Harry, “It’s okay, let’s get out of the rain.”  
Harry nodded and followed Louis, letting him lead Harry towards his car.  
“I’m taking you home, love.” Louis said softly, opening the door to his Range Rover and softly guiding Harry in with a hand on his back.  
Harry remained quiet. He wondered where home was for Louis.  
Louis got in and put the car in gear, manoeuvring it out of the car park and heading towards the gate.  
Harry was silent all through the drive, still trembling like a leaf whilst the car’s heat did nothing to warm him.  
Louis kept glancing at him, wanting desperately to just stop and pull over to hold this beautiful boy in his arms. His beautiful boy.

 

A few hours later, Harry was sat on the edge of Louis' bed, staring at the electric heater that had been turned on after he’d changed out of his wet clothes and shoes. He was now in grey sweats and white T-shirt. He had wondered who owned the clothes because they’d been a perfect fit, which they shouldn’t have been, due to the massive size and height difference between him and Louis. Maybe a friend? Or a Boyfriend?  
Harry shivered at the thought. He was exhausted, really exhausted. He’d barely been aware of the drive down here and had only a vague recollection of it all.  
He sighed deeply, burying his head into his hands. You’re royally fucked, the voice taunted.  
“Harry?”  
His head snapped up at the sound of Louis' voice. He was immediately aware of how awful he must look compared to Louis who stood leaning on the doorframe, holding a small dog, with a gold collar around it’s neck. Louis smiled.  
He had on a pair of faded jeans,as well as an ashy coloured cashmere sweater. His hair was damp, and the jeans clung to his legs and hips, while the sweater fit his shoulders and arms like a second skin.  
Harry flushed and looked away when he saw Louis had caught him staring.  
“Are you okay?” Louis said, his tone soft.  
Harry nodded, not trusting his voice.  
Louis stepped into the room to sat beside Harry on the bed.  
Harry tensed, “ Haz, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you I promise, I just want to help.”  
Haz… The name sounded easy from the way Louis said it.  
Harry finally looked at Louis and gestured towards the dog. “Can I hold her?”  
“Of course.” Louis said, gently placing the dog in Harry’s arms. “Her name is Fluff, she’s friendly, if a little clueless.”  
Harry laughed, “She’s adorable.”  
As if on cue, Fluff licked excitedly at Harry’s nose, proceeding to slobber all over him. Harry laughed even harder, letting her have her way.  
“Yeah, she’s a lover, this one. Always greeting people quite unforgettably.” Louis had a smile on his face as he watched Harry with Fluff.  
“I wonder how she learnt that, huh?” Harry grinned.  
Louis rose to his feet and stretched his arms, before gesturing towards the sitting room.  
“I’ll be in the parlour, if that’s okay with you? I baked a little something too, so how does a glass of wine sound? I keep a small wine cellar and it’s always somewhat stocked. Red or White?”  
“Sounds lovely, Red please.” Harry had a small smile his face, still cuddling Fluff closely. “And Louis? Thanks.” He said genuinely.  
Louis looked at him, his gaze honest and open.  
“It’s nothing I wouldn’t do again, Haz. I care about you, you know.”  
Haz. There it was again, falling from Louis’ lips like it was nothing.  
He turned on his heels, and left the room.  
Harry watched Louis go, still holding onto Fluff. There was something. Harry wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something - different - when he was with Louis.  
____  
Louis had opened a bottle of red and set two shamelessly huge pieces of apple pie beside the glasses he put out. Harry had walked into the room and immediately been blown away. If he thought Louis was rich before, he could think again because from the look of this room and that wine, he was loaded.  
Harry wondered where he got all the money from, it obviously couldn’t be just from teaching.  
The room was cozy and richly decorated. It had high ceilings and was at least twice the size of the entire flat Harry shared with Liam and Niall. There was a huge hearth with an outstanding and somewhat impressionistic painting hanging above. Harry studied the stormy harbour scene and realised it was Vlaminck. The furniture was exquisite: old with the fabrics luxurious and soft. Harry guessed the majority of the interior was antique, probably from the 70s at least.  
Louis had explained to him while they ate that his Mum had helped him a great deal in decorating the place. With the tone in which he spoke, Harry could tell Louis and his Mum; Jay, were pretty close.  
Harry was well on his way draining the second bottle of a fabulous red – 1962 Château Margaux, Louis had told him – and he’d finished his plate of pie along with Louis' left overs. He couldn’t fine it in himself to care the way he knew he should. He was stuffed and a little light headed.  
Harry sat on the rug with his back against the sofa, sipping at his wine and absentmindedly petting Fluff, who was perched again on his lap. He wondered if the dog could feel his sadness and was sticking to him because of that. Dogs are supposed to be good with emotions.  
Harry didn’t feel Louis presence as he took a seat beside him, not until he placed his hand lightly around Harry’s hand that was holding the wine glass. He slowly put it down on the floor.  
Louis lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Harry’s knuckles.  
Harry’s breath hitched.  
“You’re so beautiful, Harry. I thought so from the very first day I saw you.” Louis whispered, brushing thumbs along the back of Harry’s hands softly, “Your eyes were bright green but somehow empty and filled with something akin to fear, or maybe sadness. You looked breathtaking still, like something out of a fairytale. You stole my breath, Harry, you still do.”  
A shiver shot up Harry’s arm, straight towards his heart. Tears started to fall down his face. Louis shouldn’t be saying stuff like this to him. He shouldn’t. It’s not true.  
“Hey it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Louis drew him closer, hugging him tightly, resting his head on Harry’s hair like he had done earlier that day.  
“Louis, you don’t understand. You really don’t. I’ve got a whole lot of baggage. I come with complications like you wouldn’t believe. More than I can explain, more than you’d understand.”  
“Make me understand, Harry. Make me.”  
Another shiver rushed through him. “You don’t want to know, any one piece of it could change your mind about me. I don’t want to mess up your life with my own. I’m a walking tragedy, an explosion waiting to happen. I can’t destroy you in the process. I’m fucked up. A fucked up mess, you can’t fix me. You can’t. No one can.”  
Louis kissed his hair lightly, holding Harry tighter as his tears stained Louis’ sweater.  
“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re anything but fucked up. I don’t want to fix you baby, because you aren’t broken. Harry. Look at me.” Louis lifted Harry’s chin, staring into his eyes, “You’re not broken, Harry. You’ve been hurt, really hurt. I just want to help ease your pain because… because I care about you a great deal. More than I probably should.”  
Harry sniffled, and drew in a breath.  
A silence fell between them. Harry still wrapped in Louis arms, a hand stroking his hair comfortingly.  
Harry slowly broke free from the hug. He shifted, hugging his knees to his chest. He took another breath.  
“I met Thomas a year ago. At a party held for many of Britain’s most elite. I was 19 and just a catering boy. He was ten years older, and everything I would never be. He was sophisticated, cultured, elegant and just plain brilliant.”  
Louis’ attention remained on Harry’s face as he spoke. He listened carefully.  
“He had picked on me during the party but then the next day I found he'd sent me a dozen flowers and a card with an apology asking me out. I was elated and almost, I don't know, grateful that someone like him would pay attention to someone like me. Now that I think of it, he made it sound like it were some fabulous compliment, like I should feel privileged that he wanted to spend his precious time with me of all people.”  
Harry spoke lowly, staring into the empty room and fiddling with hands, Fluff having left his lap a while ago to sit somewhere else.  
“He flirted with me, and it was exciting. He made me feel special and wanted. He sent me roses everyday, always red roses. He asked me out again and took me to the theatre, to amazing restaurants. I started to notice we never went to public parties, he never took me to places we could be seen.” Harry let out a self deprecating chuckle, “I was stupid, wasn’t I? I was so stupid to think we could be anything important.”  
Louis took his hands again, squeezing them tight. Harry looked at Louis briefly and gave a small, grateful smile. “No, Haz. You were in love, that’s never stupid.”  
Harry continued. “I was meant for him, I belonged to him. Back then when he told me that, it was thrilling and romantic. Later on, it became scary, like he was claiming ownership on me. He said things that seemed romantic but things started to go downhill three months in, when I asked for him to meet my friends and my sister. I always talked about him to them but they never got to meet him. Niall even teased me about him being a figment of my imagination.”  
Harry smiled at the thought of his friends.  
“After god knows how long, Thomas finally agreed to meet them. It was at a restaurant of his choosing, because of course it was, and the whole night was tense and awkward. None of them liked him. He made fun of Niall’s Irish accent, Liam’s shirt and in no uncertain terms told Gemma the blue colour of her hair at the time didn’t suit her. I’d never been more embarrassed, I had to watch helplessly as Gemma and Liam angrily excused themselves from the table while Niall followed behind them. I followed Thomas home that night and demanded an apology for his awful behaviour but he just brushed it off. That was the first time I was allowed a glimpse of his narcissistic side, he had looked down on my sister and best friends and hadn’t felt an ounce of regret upon saying such horrible things, he didn’t care that he was wrong. I left his flat that night, and apologised to the three of them, I was so ashamed. Gemma, as she always does, made her displeasure known, and insisted that I end things with him. I wouldn’t listen. I was in too deep.”  
He paused for a few seconds, letting his breath even out while Louis kept quiet beside him, letting Harry take his time.  
“Things went back to normal between me and Thomas after that night. Though looking back on it they kind of just went backwards. He wouldn’t be seen with me in public anymore, not even private restaurants, we could only meet at his flat. I started to change how I looked; I looked the way he told me to look, behaved the way he told me to behave. It seemed fine to me, he was older, wiser, more intelligent. It started to chip away at my confidence and self esteem. He made it seem reasonable somehow, he made it seem… instructional when he told me I was slow and dull. He knew best, so if he ordered for me to change my shirt, I did, he was only looking out for my best interests.”  
”If I was going to be his husband one day the way I wanted, I had to look the part. It was subtle at first, the digs and the demands. Whenever I pleased him, I was given a treat, a reward. Like a puppy being trained. Like, you did well today baby, have this diamond bracelet. God. It’s disgusting how easily I was manipulated. I was naïve and stupid. I was so stupid.”  
“You were in love.” Louis reaffirmed.  
“I did love him. Or at least I loved the man I thought he was. He was so clever, so relentless in the way he managed to tame me. The first time I met his mother, it was on one of those days I was at his place and she just showed up at his flat unannounced. He was so nervous and flustered. I showed her in and offered to make her tea, but she refused, treating me with barely concealed contempt, I felt even worse when he introduced me as his new hired help. She didn’t stay for long and bluntly refused to acknowledge my presence basically the entire time.”  
”As soon as she left, I confronted him about what had just happened and he revealed to me why he never wanted to be seen with me in public, and why he hadn’t introduced me to his family. He was in the closet. His family would never have agreed with him being gay, never the less marrying someone of lower status like me. They were devout Catholics and he could have lost everything. He was the heir to the family business and I was nobody.”  
“Oh Harry.” Louis felt his heart clench inside his chest as Harry went on, he was so small and vulnerable, “Baby, I’m sorry.”  
Harry closed his eyes briefly. He started to tremble again.  
“I loved him, Lou. I really, really loved him. And I stayed with him despite knowing I should have left and that we had no future together. He begged me to stay every time it got tough, and I did. I had the tiniest flicker of faith that our love would overcome it all.” Harry scoffed, “How dumb was that? Thomas was way out of my league. I was nobody and he was somebody.”  
“After then things got worse. Thomas became a mad man, he changed completely. He’d accuse me of cheating every time I left the house, he told me I was ungrateful towards him. The first - ” Harry’s voice caught as he tried to hold back tears,  
“The first time he - hit me.” He took a deep breath,  
”I was in shock for days afterwards. I had been out with Liam and some friends the night before, he had called me and Liam picked it up while I was in the loo. Thomas accused me of cheating with Liam, he said I was a stupid commoner who he'd taken pity on. He called me a cheap slut and slammed me against the wall, he hit me, then he locked me in the bathroom overnight. Told me I needed to wash off the dirt of a whore.”  
Louis gently took Harry’s hands, attempting to still his shaking body as tears streamed down Harry’s face, “You don’t have to tell me Harry. I understand, I do.”  
“But, you don’t!” Harry jerked his hands away, eyes wild. He stood up and started to pace, pulling at his hair, moving frantically like a wild animal locked in a cage trying to break free “He abused me Louis, and I took it.”  
He stopped by the window and shrunk down to the floor, breathing heavily.  
“When I started coming home with bruises and marks on my body, I was forced to tell Liam and Niall. We went to the police and boy was that a stupid mistake. He had a friends on the force, a lot of pull. He found out I’d turned him in quickly, and he explained to me in a way I’ll never forget that if I ever humiliated him like that again, he’d kill me. He told me I was his, that I belonged to him and he would never let me go. He explained it all with his hands around my throat. I was his possession.”  
Harry inhaled, feeling suddenly cold. He was aware of how his body trembled, of a sickness brewing inside him. He looked up at Louis profile, aware of the look of pity mixed with affection in his eyes. He smiled as he felt tears start to well again.  
Harry watched as Louis slowly moved towards him and sat next to him, their shoulders touching.  
“The way I felt about Thomas, I never felt – could never feel for anybody ever again. He ruined me.”  
Harry hesitated. He had to get this part out.  
“The night Thomas died you would have read it in the papers, they all spread the story. Thomas Sutcliffe: Heir to Sutcliffe’s Empire died in horrific car accident”  
”Earlier that night someone, I never knew who, had sent pictures of me and him to his father. His father was furious, he was in total denial that his only son was gay, that Thomas had committed such sin. He threw him out, threatened to take the empire from Thomas because no son of his could be such an abomination.  
Thomas got drunk. Heavily drunk. Angry drunk. He came over to my flat when Liam and Niall weren’t home, and had been out. He threw a fit, he beat me relentlessly, blamed me for bringing bad luck, then he - ” Harry stopped, shutting his eyes tightly, willing the memory to fade away.  
“He raped me. Held me down, tore at my clothes, and forced himself on me right there in the sitting room. It was disgusting, the things he did to me. He was a stranger to me, as far as possible from the man I met at the party all those months before. He left, still drunk and I cried for over an hour, dragged myself to the bathroom and took a bath, tried to wash him off me.  
I got a call at around 2:15 in the morning that he was dead. The paramedics saw my number as last dialled. I remember crying harder than I had before, not because I felt bad for his death, but because I felt free and relieved that he was gone.”  
Harry leaned on Louis, crying into his chest. He felt heavy from exhaustion, yet also free after finally letting it all out. He cried, letting Louis sooth him quietly.  
“It’s okay, it’s okay now, baby. I’ve got you, it’s all over now.”  
Louis ran his hand up and down Harry’s back, comforting him, “I’m here, Harry. We’re gonna get through this. Together.”  
Harry looked up at Louis' face. His eyes were hopeful and red-rimmed.  
“You promise?” He whispered softly.  
“Yes I promise.” Louis kissed his forehead lightly.  
“There’s one more thing you should know.” Harry swallowed thickly, “I’m pregnant. “  
There. It was all out.  
Louis hands immediately went to Harry’s tummy, rubbing slightly,  
“You’re pregnant?” He looked at Harry, eyes questioning.  
Harry nodded, looking away and pulling on his shirt, suddenly conscious of it riding up.  
Louis lifted Harry’s face, looking into his green eyes with sincerity, “It doesn’t change anything. We’re gonna get through this together Harry I promise. We’re gonna get through together. Just me and you.”  
Harry sighed, leaning into Louis, relief washing over him.  
He fell asleep like that. At home in Louis’ arms.  
___  
Harry sat in Louis’ car while he tried to control his breathing. They were in front of Harry’s building. He was going to do this. Now or never, he rubbed at his temples to warn off the headache he felt coming.  
Louis took his hand.  
“It’s going to be okay.” Harry smiled slightly at Louis’ words, nodding.  
He had woken up that morning in Louis’ bed, disoriented at first. Memories of last night came rushing back and he had shuddered. The thoughts of the night before slipped his mind as soon as Fluff had come running into the room and straight into his arms. She had kissed him good morning, pulling at his curls and yapping playfully when he chided her.  
Louis had walked into the room not long after, with a tray of breakfast. He had sat beside Harry, placing the tray on the bedside table.  
“Are you okay?” He had asked, gently tugging at a stray curl and tucking it behind his ear.  
Harry flushed. He had no idea what he and Louis were right now. Hell, he wasn’t even sure of his own feelings let alone where they both stood.  
“What are we?” He had blurted out, his expression shy.  
Louis had looked at him, blue eyes boring into green. Then he smiled and took Harry’s hands kissing them softly. Harry liked when he did that.  
“You’re not ready for anything, Harry. On so many levels. Not yet anyway. So I’ll wait and stand by you until both you and I know you are. We can to get to know each other and see where things go from there.”  
Harry’s heart clenched. Tears were threatening to spill. Stupid hormones.  
“Thank you for understanding. Thank you so much, Louis.”  
They’d hugged and Louis had sat by with a grin on his face as Harry ate, occasionally sneaking pieces of pancake to Fluff.  
All in all their morning was pretty good. Louis had told Harry about his time at uni, about his mum and his five younger sisters and brother.  
Harry finally got a glimpse into Louis’ life. He was from a wealthy family. His mother, Johannah, was the owner of a business of some kind. Louis had been set to inherit the family business one day, but instead had opted to chase his dreams instead. Much to the dismay of his mother and maternal grandparents, he had chosen to take Psychology at uni instead of business management like they’d always wanted for him.  
“Mum wouldn’t speak to me for a whole day.” Louis had laughed, “She kept grumbling about how I could put my great management skills to use instead of wasting it away on shit like the human mind.”  
He had always had a little ‘too big’ of an infatuation in cars. He had a few collections of the best automobiles, which he promised Harry a look at.  
Harry found out that Louis was close with his mother and quite fond of his family. He even spoke of his best friend since uni, named Zayn. Harry had wondered about Liam’s Zayn, if he and Louis’ Zayn were anything alike.  
Louis had suggested that Harry told his friends about his pregnancy.  
Although at first he had been reluctant to agree, he knew Louis was right and that his friends and family deserved to know.

Now, Louis put his hand on Harry’s knee, “It’s going to be okay. They’ll support you. If there’s anything I know from what you’ve told me about them, they are lovely people and they care about you no matter what.”  
Harry nodded.  
Louis got out of the car and rounded over to open Harry’s door. He took his hand in his and squeezed reassuringly as they walked in.  
Harry was barely in the room before Niall had jumped straight into his arms, engulfing him in a bone crushing hug.  
“Oh Hazza, how I missed you.” Niall cooed ridiculously. He took a step back and examined him, giving him a worried once-over, “Mate, where the hell were you? Liam and I were worried sick. Your phone was switched off and our calls weren’t getting through, what happened?”  
“Leeyum! Harry’s home!” Niall shouted towards the direction of Liam’s room. Then turned towards Louis who was stood behind Harry.  
“Who are you?” Niall said, in a way that made it sound like more of a statement than a question.  
“I’m Lo–”  
“Louis?” Zayn walked into the room, looking at them all in confusion, Liam following closely behind.  
“You know him, babe?” Liam looked at his boyfriend questioningly.  
“Yeah, Zayn. You know him?” Niall had his hands on his hips, looking faux scandalised.  
“What are you doing here, Zaynie?” Louis said one eyebrow raised.  
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, his headache getting worse.  
“Okay! Can everyone stop throwing around questions and just answer each other?”  
“Now,” he turned to his friends, “Guys, this is Louis, my psychology professor,” He then turned to Louis, “Lou, meet my best friends, Liam’s the buff one, and Niall here,” he ruffled Niall’s hair, “is our Irish Leprechaun, if you rub him in the right place he’ll –”  
“–finish that statement, Styles and I’ll cut off your nipples and gift ‘em to Santa,” Niall cut him off, eyeing him warningly.  
Louis chuckled under his breath.  
“Then how am I to breastfeed my baby?” Harry prompted.  
Silence.  
Louis tensed.  
“You’re pregnant?” Niall and Liam looked at Harry in shock.  
Nice one idiot. Nice way to announce your present delicate condition.  
“Yes?” He said, more of a question than a statement.  
Harry groaned. That wasn’t how he planned it in his head at all.  
____

An hour later, both of his friends had gotten over the initial shock of the news. Zayn had explained to everyone that he and Louis were actually best friends from way back, and honestly were more like brothers to which Louis had huffed and grumbled inaudibly, ”If that…” Or so Harry had heard, either way hearing as such had made Harry rather uncomfortable. It was obvious that Zayn and Louis were close, if you add in the way Louis had spoken about him earlier like the sun shone out his ass, the look in Zayn’s eye whenever he looked at Louis was quite something. Harry wondered if there was more between the two. He didn’t like the idea one bit.  
So Liam’s Zayn and Louis' Zayn were the same Zayn? Nice.  
“H, why didn’t you tell us? We’re your friends.” Liam said, currently sat between Zayn’s legs on the floor.  
“Yeah, Liam good point, would this have worked, ‘Hey guys, I got raped by my boyfriend and now I’m pregnant. Oh! Do you know he is also dead?’” Harry bit out harshly.  
He felt Louis hand close around his own and he sighed, momentarily closing his eyes.  
“I’m sorry, Li. I didn’t mean that.” He breathed. He suddenly felt the need to cry again, “It’s the hormones, they’re messing with my moods.”  
Liam nodded coolly, “Nah, it’s okay, H. I shouldn’t have said that, I get why you did it.”  
Harry smiled at his friend.  
“I’m just scared, y'know? I’m pregnant and the kid’s dad is dead.” He sniffed, his voice small and weak.  
Niall wrapped an arm around Harry, kissing his hair, “We’re here for you, Harry. We’re all in this together.”  
Liam also got up to go to Harry’s side and join in the hug, “Yeah, we’re here for you Haz.”  
Harry smiled.  
“And thanks, Louis” Liam said to Louis, who was still seated.  
Louis returned the smile, nodding his head in response.  
____  
The rest of the day went by fairly well. Louis and Niall bonded over their love of football and cars, courtesy of Harry who kept going on about Louis’ obsession. Liam was a little different however, he wouldn’t stop treating Harry like he was a delicate child.  
Zayn had suggested they play a game and make a list of possible names for the baby. He and Liam were going out of their heads picking out baby shower themes and nursery decorations. Harry had to remind them he was only 10 weeks gone.  
“How about a barbie themed baby shower? With pink décor? My sister, Doniya, had something like it when she was carrying her first child.” Zayn said excitedly, his eyes shining at the idea, “Harry would wear a pink tiara with a sash and there would be pink roses, it would so beautiful.” He clapped his hands happily, clearly envisioning the whole event.  
“Aww, babe!” Liam patted his boyfriend’s cheek sweetly, “That’s a lovely idea.”  
Zayn flushed, holding Liam’s gaze.  
”Gross” Niall said, pretending to throw up at their cuteness.  
Louis kicked at Zayn, putting his feet on his face, “Oi! Will you nauseating lovebirds get a room please and quit eye-fucking each other? There’s a baby growing inside curly over here.” He stroked at Harry’s tummy for emphasis.  
Harry laughed, swatting at Louis' hand half-heartedly.  
Zayn pushed at his feet, laughing freely.  
“Lou, get your smelly dirty feet away from me.”  
Louis laughed harder, his eyes crinkling, shoving his feet further towards Zayn.  
“Technically,” Liam began, looking at Louis, “Since the baby is still in the first trimester, it can’t hear, let alone see right now.”  
“Oh Liam, Liam, Liam” Louis patted the brown eyed boy’s head, like a mother would when explaining something to her child, “Who’s the professor here? Me? Or you? Tell me ol' sport.”  
“What do you even teach your students?” Liam shook his head, laughing loudly.  
Louis shifted on the sofa, turning towards Zayn, “Mate, you better tell your boy not to doubt my teaching.” He said warningly.  
“All hail King Louis!” Niall said dramatically, bowing to him.  
Everyone laughed, Zayn wrestling Louis, Liam trying to break them apart and Niall jumping into the whole pile.  
Harry grinned, rubbing at his tummy.  
He could totally get used to this.

 

___

On Wednesday, Zayn spent most of his working hours in meetings, both internal and external. The morning was spent conferencing with a research facility in Mumbai and a top clinic in Zurich, discussing potential projects and outlining procedures. After lunch he had three more meetings to attend.  
It was like being in the eye of a hurricane. Everything that flowed across Zayn’s desk was from the hundreds of departments at headquarters, the factories in Zaire, the laboratories in Greenland, the offices in Australia and Thailand, it was from all four corners of the earth. There were reports on new products, sales statements, statistical projections, advertising campaigns, experimental programs. There were decisions to be made on building new factories, selling old ones, acquiring companies, hiring and firing executives.  
He had expert advice on every phase of business, but all final decisions had to be made by his father. He knew much more about the company than he had realised and at the same time, much less.  
The second meeting was the formal budget meeting, which included Zayn’s father, Yaser, admin, and some of the shareholders. He finally lost his will to live around about 2pm when one of the administrators proceeded to go on and on for an hour about the company’s capital growth and market performance – complete with a mind-numbingly boring powerpoint presentation that contained graph after graph.  
By the time the meeting had finished, he just about had enough time to grab a cup of tea and half a sandwich before his scheduled conference with their Zurich headquarters. One thing that always struck him about conferencing was time zone differences.  
At exactly three twenty-eight, there was a knock on Zayn’s office door and Liam stepped in. Zayn’s mood lifted instantly and he smiled in delight. It wasn’t often Liam surprised him at work. Maybe he was going to whisk him off to dinner? They didn’t have anything planned as far as he could remember.  
Liam waved sheepishly, closing the door behind him quietly,  
“Hi”  
“Meri Jaan.” Zayn stood, pulling Liam into a hug.  
Liam pulled back, his arms still around Zayn’s waist and lifted his head to join their lips. Zayn smiled into the kiss, pulling Liam’s body impossibly closer.  
For the first time since the beginning of the day, Zayn felt content. He pulled back from the kiss, Liam’s lips slightly more swollen than before.  
“Tum bahut Haseen ho,” Zayn spoke in Urdu, rubbing their noses together in a sweet Eskimo kiss. “So, so beautiful.”  
Liam blushed, his expression tender as he stood in Zayn’s embrace.  
“Well, someone’s happy to see me.” He teased as Zayn took a step back, flopping into his chair behind his office table.  
Zayn gestured for him to come sit on the table. Liam fit himself between the table and Zayn’s body, smiling broadly at him.  
“Long day?”  
Zayn nodded, closing his eyes and stretching his arms out. “You have no idea. I thought I was gonna go crazy with all the meetings and conferences.”  
Liam grinned, resting his hands on Zayn’s chest. It lit something warm in his stomach and he couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked; sharp, clean and expensive.  
He felt Liam sigh and then warm hands were framing his face, pulling him up gently. The slight quiver of Liam’s arm muscles was surprisingly pleasant and made Zayn shiver slightly,  
“Zayn.” The murmur was a hot whisper against his lips and they were headed for another kiss. Zayn tilted his head just as Liam’s mouth met his own, warm, damp and knee-weakeningly soft. Liam’s stomach swooped and he slipped his arms around Zayn’s neck. Zayn’s hands settled on his waist in return, lifting himself slightly until he was towering over him, bending him onto the table. Fuck, why haven’t we been doing this before, Zayn thought to himself as Liam’s teeth tugged on his lower lip causing something hot to sit low in his abdomen. Zayn returned the favour, making Liam elicit a low throaty moan. Holy crap, he froze for a moment stunned, they were totally doing this in his office. In the Zayn’s trousers his dick had started to grow. He could go with the flow…  
“Zayn, your –,” Tricia, Zayn’s mother creaked open the door, stopping dead in her tracks. Both men broke apart immediately, Liam’s getting up from the table in an instant to stand beside Zayn, who was currently flushed all over. Talk about embarrassing moments. He was so screwed.  
“Ammi. . .” Zayn began nervously, looking warily at his mother, “Ammi, er… I didn’t know you were around today.”  
Tricia observed both men, her facial expression hard to read, “I just came in a while ago.” She explained, “Aap koan hain?”  
“Um… This is Liam.” He gestured, “Mera dosti. My friend.”  
Tricia nodded, a smile breaking onto her face, like she suddenly found something funny. She extended her hands towards Liam, shaking his hand.  
“I’m Tricia, Zayn’s mother.”  
Liam nodded, shaking back. His cheeks were burning in embarrassment,  
“A pleasure to meet you, Ma'am.”  
“It’s all mine, believe me.” She was smiling broadly now, looking between them, observing their flushed expressions. She was enjoying this moment. Now that Liam had met her, he could tell where Zayn got his beauty; his mother was a sight for sore eyes. She was elegantly beautiful.  
“Well, I just came to drop this documents with you, Beta.” Tricia slid a file onto the table, “I want you to go over it and give me some feedback, okay?”  
Zayn picked up the file, leafing through it, the flush not quite having left his face yet,  
“Okay, Ma. How soon do you want it?”  
“Take your time, there’s no rush. It’s for the pharmacy outlet we just opened in Bristol. I’m off now, your father and I have a dinner meeting with some friends.”  
She looked to Liam. “Have a lovely day, Liam. It was lovely meeting you today, hopefully I’ll be seeing more of you.”  
He nodded timidly.  
“Yes, Ma’am, you too.”  
“Call me Tricia.”  
Liam nodded.  
“Allah hafez.” She called out as she walked away, stopping short to peek her head back in, “Zayn? Me samajh giya,” She spoke softly in Urdu, “This is between us.”  
Zayn smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.  
“Wow!” Liam laughed nervously, “That was close.”  
Zayn sunk into his chair, laughing to the ceiling, “Tell me about it. We have to be more careful.”  
“I’m sorry.” Liam’s apologised lowly, suddenly feeling bad, “It was my fault. Totally unprofessional of me.”  
Zayn pulled him into his lap instinctively, “Love, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s nothing. “  
“You’re sure?”  
“Absolutely.”  
Zayn smiled, pecking his lips then looking at the door, like someone else was going to burst in any moment.  
Zayn stretched again, helping Liam up,  
“Let’s get out of here. I’m starving.”  
He packed up his briefcase, adjusting his tie and hair in the mirror on the side.  
”Oh, we need to start baby shopping for Harry. I swear his stomach his growing bigger by the day.” Liam laughed, also adjusting his clothes.  
“Yeah, Louis showed me some pictures of him last time I was over at his. He’s glowing.”  
Liam hummed in agreement, walking ahead of Zayn out the door.  
____  
Later that night, they both lay in Zayn’s bed, coming down from their post-orgasmic haze, lips swollen, back flushed, and body aching in all the right places. Zayn held Liam in his arms, stroking at his back as his thoughts wandered back to his previous encounter with his mother.  
He let out a deep sigh. It couldn’t be happening. Not right now when things were going so well with him and Liam.  
He could lose everything if this got out.  
I’ve got you. He let his mother’s words ring in his head. Me samajh giya.  
Everything's fine for now. The question was for how long?  
He was tired of hiding.  
He kissed Liam’s head, as the younger man breathed evenly as he slept.  
I love you.

___  
Louis was currently waiting outside with his legs crossed and hands tucked into his trouser pockets, resting against the hood of his car, an LR3 model. He was wearing tight fitted black gap trousers, a royal blue tailor-made shirt that was currently rolled up at the sleeves, an Audemars Piguet Royal Oak wristwatch, black Gucci boots and deep lensed ray bans. He looked elegantly simple.  
Harry stepped out of the building, a little sway in his step. He was already showing and it was starting to tell on his body, his hips were wider and his waist larger. Louis spotted him before Harry could notice, waving him over. He looked absolutely stunning, Louis thought, breathtaking. Pregnancy looked good on him.  
He’d just finished his weekly therapy appointment with a therapist Louis had chosen personally.  
Harry had been attending the sessions for the past 6 weeks and he was showing signs of improvement, much to Louis’ pleasure. There were still days when he would break down in tears and tell Louis how repulsed he felt looking at himself and how he didn’t think he could be a good parent to the baby. Louis was always there to comfort him and calm his nerves, assuring him that he was a good person and none of what happened to him was his fault. He wasn’t to be blamed for Thomas’s behaviours, nor his death. Harry was going to be an amazing father to his baby. Louis knew he was.  
_____  
The pain wasn’t so recent anymore for Harry, it was more of an on-going sadness he couldn’t quite shake. He was getting better at shutting off the voices in his head. According to his therapist, what he was experiencing was normal with any rape victim, she referred to it as post traumatic rape syndrome.  
He felt genuinely happy and free. Something he hadn’t felt in a long while.  
He had no idea if it had to do with the weekly sessions, where he could just get things off his chest, he sincerely looked forward to seeing Dr. Jill. She had such a calm voice and a warm presence, she would always sit and listen to Harry talk about his life and how he felt, his fears, the baby, the boys, his mom, sister, and most importantly to Harry, Louis. Harry wasn’t sure if it was too early to be feeling anything for someone else, but he often found himself thinking about Louis when he had a spare moment. Jill had told him to go for it and not allow his messy past to hold him back from enjoying and experiencing the amazing gifts the future could hold.  
Or maybe the reason there was a new glow in his cheeks and bounce in his step because of a certain person. Even if he still wasn’t sure of how to define his relationship with Louis, one day he knew wanted to be with him properly.  
He intended to make it happen soon.  
“Someone looks happy.” Louis said, hugging Harry close, “How was today’s session?” Louis grinned at Harry’s good mood.  
“Good.” Harry said, a responding smile on his face, “We had ice cream and she rubbed my feet. I kept complaining that they ached.”  
Harry stretched out his back, rubbing at his neck. Louis grinned at him, his eyes soft. He rubbed at Harry’s tummy through his banana print shirt that Louis had previously made fun of earlier that day when he picked him up for his appointment.  
Louis crouched down and talked talking to his stomach. He did so often, ever since Harry entered his second trimester and the doctors said that the baby could now hear things on the outside, even Niall wouldn’t stop belting out Irish traditional tunes to Harry’s stomach at every given moment.  
“Hey, little Ariel.” Louis spoke softly, “How ya holding up in there, baby?”  
He looked up at Harry and smiled bashfully. “You’re growing really big and daddy’s having a hard time keeping on his feet, you’re a tough girl I know, but try not to disturb daddy, okay? Deal?” He asked, as if waiting for a reply of some sort. On cue, the baby kicked. Hard.  
“Ow!” Harry gasped, looking at Louis, “Did you feel that Lou, she kicked!”  
Louis grinned, patting his tummy lightly, “Good girl. This one is going to be a fighter Haz.”  
Both of them were grinning like fools without a care in the world, Louis got to his feet, taking Harry’s hand in his, and pressing a quick kiss to his knuckles.  
___  
They were sat in McDonald’s having lunch. Harry had always been an health freak but since he got pregnant, all he seemed to crave was greasy junk food. And his mum always called to tell him,  
“Harry baby, don’t be scared to indulge yourself, eat anything you want. You’ll drop the extra pounds when she’s out.” Harry agreed with her and was indulging himself at all given chance. From pies, to pizzas, to shawarma, burgers, fries, sweets and all kind of variety of chocolate, courtesy of Niall. Harry knew quite well that it was just an excuse for Niall himself to eat more. Who was he to complain though?  
Louis stretched his hand across the table to entwine his with Harry’s. Harry sipped his Pepsi drink and looked across at Louis, who had a lopsided grin on his face.  
Harry pouted at him, “Lou, what’s that look for? Is there something on my face?” He asked, rubbing at his chin with a napkin.  
Louis just kept looking, his smile growing wider.  
“C’mon Lou, now you’re just being weird.” Harry said even louder, whining and batting lightly at Louis’s arm.  
“Ow!” Louis said, rubbing at his arm lightly, “What? Can a guy not admire a beautiful person anymore? Haz, you wound me.”  
Harry giggled, amusement shining in his eyes,  
“Not when said person is pregnant and fat and eating like the apocalypse is about to befall the world.”  
Louis snorted and took Harry’s hands in back in his own, “Well, I still say said person is still the most beautiful and breathtakingly gorgeous man I have ever seen despite being pregnant, in fact I think he’s more beautiful because of it. Also Haz, you’re far from fat.”  
Harry blushed fully, still not used to Louis complimenting him and looking at him like that, with so much fondness and affection.  
Harry felt his heart beating fast in his chest. He suddenly wanted nothing more than for Louis to hold him in his arms and kiss him. Kiss him so passionately he’d be gasping for breath.  
“C’mon, let’s take a selfie.” He said instead, pulling out his phone from his back pocket, “Gemma’s been bugging me to send some pictures.”  
“Oh, how is she?” Louis asked. He had spoken to her a few times when Harry had been over at his place skyping with her. Louis had thought she seemed really nice and had immediately bonded with her over their love for The Big Bang Theory and The Blacklist. They were in mutual adoration of Raymond Reddington.  
“She’s okay. She went on a date with this really weird guy who wouldn’t stop talking about ‘Hodor'. He was a GOT freak.”  
Louis snorted.  
“Oh my god, Gems must have been bored stiff.”  
“You think? Pissed and bored.” Harry laughed into his hand, moving to sit beside Louis.  
“Smile!” He said, clicking the camera button quickly. “Perfect.” He looked at the picture, taking several more just in case, they both pulled faces at the camera.  
A few minutes later they were heading out the door, laughing hand in hand at a silly baby joke harry was telling. They got into the car, Louis starting it up and pulling out onto the busy road.  
“Where are we going?” Harry asked, fiddling around with the radio stations.  
“It’s a surprise.” Louis said, his eyes on the road as he navigated his way around.  
Harry soon became tired of nagging Louis to tell him where they were going when he realised it wasn’t going to happen. The main roads were busy and Harry sat quietly, listening to the soft music playing from the car speakers. If there was one thing he and Louis had in common other than cars, it was their taste in music. Harry didn’t think he would ever meet anyone who was more of a fan of David Bowie than himself but Louis seem to come pretty close. Harry soon fell asleep to the sounds of Let’s Dance.  
____  
Louis briefly looked over to Harry’s sleeping form, he was slouched into the seat with his head leaning back onto the headrest. He looked so innocent and carefree as Louis reached over to tuck away a stray curl that had slipped out of the bun he’d put his hair in.  
He pulled onto Walton Street, parking up in front of a big boutique. The huge signboard read ‘Marie Chantel’.  
“Harry,” He gently tapped his shoulder, “Baby, we’re here.”  
Harry grunted as he stretched awake, rubbing the sleep away from his tired eyes,  
“Where are we?” He asked groggily, his voice low from lack of use.  
“Chelsea.” Louis said, reaching across Harry to undo his seat belt for him whilst he was still half asleep.  
“Chelsea?” Harry repeasted, as if the word were some alien language he’d never heard before.  
“Yeah. We’re going shopping for baby clothes.” Louis said.  
As soon as they stepped into the shop, Harry’s face lit up in excitement. He clung onto Louis arm for support as they were approached by a sales assistant.  
“Good afternoon, Sirs.” The lady greeted. She was short, with pale skin and contrasting red hair that was tied up on top of her head. She was beautiful, “Welcome to Marie Chantel. How may I help you Mister–,”  
“Styles, Tomlinson.” Louis smiled, holding tight onto Harry’s hand and gesturing to them as he spoke.  
“Mr and Mr Styles-Tomlinson. A pleasure meeting you, I’m Diane.” She beamed, showing off a nice set of teeth.  
“Oh no, it’s actually…erm, we’re… like he and I–,” Louis said nervously, trying to correct the attendant’s mistake. She looked at him confusedly.  
“The pleasure is all ours, Diane. Pay no mind to my Fiancé here. We’re actually yet to tie the knot what with work and all getting in the way, then I got pregnant, so we’re waiting until I pop this little one out before saying the I do's. So, technically we … I’m not yet a proper Styles-Tomlinson.” Harry explained calmly to the confused lady, a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
“Alright, love?” He looked at Louis, placing his hand on his chest, smiling cheekily.  
Louis nodded, confusion written all over his features but playing along never the less.  
“Erm… Yes. Yes, just ignore me.”  
“Aww,” She cooed, “You two are so cute. Congratulations on the baby and the engagement.”  
“Thank you honey.” Harry grinned, still looking at Louis, “He’s the cutest though.” He pinched playfully at Louis’ cheeks, “I’m really hoping our little girl has his blue eyes. That was what got me talking to him anyway.”  
Diane's laughter rang out as she listened, gesturing towards the south wing of the shop,  
“If you’d like to follow me, we’ve got just the right clothes and accessories for her.” She walked in the direction she’d pointed, showing them along as they followed behind her.  
“Wow,” Harry’s eyes lit up as he fingered at the clothing, looking excitedly towards Louis, “Lou, look at the textures of these materials. I love them.”  
“Pick as many as you want baby. She’s gonna be a princess anyway, so we’ve got to shop for clothes fit for a princess.” Louis smiled, encouraging Harry, “Have at it.”  
“Oh my god. Are you sure?” Harry breathed out, his lower lip wobbling like a toddler about to burst into tears.  
“Yes,” Louis laughed as Harry all but leapt on him, kissing him smack on the lips and hugging him hard. Sometimes it was the simplest of things that meant the most. Louis froze.  
Had Harry just kissed him?  
It was probably a mistake, Louis’ head was running a mile a minute. He was just excited, it was a mistake.  
Harry started plucking out the prettiest of gowns almost like he’d done nothing. Diane listed off details about each of the materials to him. Harry wasn’t listening, he was busy having the time of his life.  
Louis shook himself off mentally. Don’t read into it. It was a mistake. It was nothing but a mistake.  
Harry constantly oohed and awwed at clothes, showing them to Louis occasionally for his opinion.  
Louis smiled. It felt like this was what he lived for. A happy Harry.  
____  
“Look at this Tiara!” Niall said, “Mate, this must have cost Lou a fortune.” He balanced the little crown on his head, bouncing around and looking more than a little ridiculous.  
Harry laughed softly, watching Louis go to grab the crown off Niall’s head.  
“Oi! That’s a vintage 1986 Swiss made golden tiara. It cost £54,000.” Louis wrestled Niall, eventually getting it off of him.  
“Wanker!” Niall said, his constant laughter getting louder, “£54,000? This baby isn’t even born and you’re already spoiling her.”  
“Language Nialler.” Harry said in a faux stern voice.  
“It’s called Blinging Up Baby.” Liam said to Niall, his head bent in concentration as he was going through the pile of clothes and accessories on the sofa.  
“Preach, Li.” Louis laughed, “Princess Charlotte ain’t got nothing on our little Ariel.”  
“Please, Lewis! Knock me up, I wanna have your babies!” Niall held unto Louis' leg, whimpering exaggeratedly, his pout over the top and silly.  
Louis squealed, trying to shake Niall off his leg, pushing at him with his hands, “I hate to break it to you, Irish, but you are so not my type.” His lip twitched, a laugh rising up his throat, “I like ‘em tall and pretty.”  
“But Lou, I can be pretty.” Niall said, batting his eyelashes and smiling.  
“Get off him, Ni.” Harry said with an hint of sharpness, pulling Louis’ hips away from Niall’s hold. . “Shameless Leprechaun.”  
“Ooooh,” Liam pinched Harry’s nipple, raising his brow mischievously, “Somebody’s jealous.”  
Harry huffed, a blush creeping up his cheeks.  
“Me? You wish. Quit talking shit, Liam.” He slowly got to his feet, letting out a strained breath and cracking his back a bit forward. “I’m gonna go ahead and shower, I’m knackered.”  
Louis looked up at Harry, eyes filled with concern,  
“Do you need help, baby?”  
Yes! His head screamed.  
Harry shook his head, banishing the traitorous thought, “Nah, I’ll be alright thanks.” He turned to Liam and gestured towards the baby clothes. “Be a darling, Li, and help pack up the clothes.”  
Liam gave him a knowing smile, mumbling out an inaudible response as Harry walked towards his room.  
“Where’s Zayn, Li?” Niall said, changing the topic after Harry left.  
Liam hesitated.  
“He told me he was having a meeting with his dad and the board of directors. Something about a new product?”  
“Oh. Did you call him?” Louis said, perking up at the conversation turning to Zayn’s dad.  
“Yeah, but it went straight to voicemail. He’ll call me once he’s done I guess.”  
Louis nodded, not speaking.  
“I met his mum the other day.” Liam piped up, packing the clothes away.  
“You met Tricia?” Louis said, shocked.  
Liam was taken aback, “Erm . . yeah? I did. Anything wrong?”  
“No, no.” Louis replied immediately, “Just surprised, is all.”  
There was a strange expression in Louis’ eyes. He looked down.  
Liam needed to speak to Zayn. Before things went bad.  
He hummed, dropping the subject.  
“Lou!” Harry’s voice resonated from the other side of the wall, “I need a hand in here please.”  
Niall gave another snort, rolling his eyes at Harry’s voice.  
“He probably needs you to help him wank off, since his belly’s getting too large these days, he can’t reach his dick.”  
Louis flipped him off,  
“You never fail to surprise me with your shallow thinking, do you?” He shook his head amusedly.  
“Harry?” He called out as he stepped into Harry’s room, looking around for him.  
“In here!”  
Louis cracked open the bathroom door, steam immediately hitting his face, carrying the smell of Harry’s shampoo and body gel that he’s more than familiar with recently.  
He flushed immediately, pink threatening to wash all over his face as he spotted Harry sitting on the edge of the bath tub covered up in a little white towel tied around his waist, his hair wet and sticking to his face.  
Louis' heart clenched at the sight.  
Harry looked up instantly and shot a small smile his way.  
“I just want to paint my toe nails but I can’t seem to reach them.” Harry said sheepishly, holding out a bottle of pink nail polish to Louis.  
Louis stood still, “So, you... You want me to paint your nails.”  
Harry blushed. Hard.  
“Yeah, something like that.” He said lightly, “You don’t have to though.”  
Louis grinned, “Hey, there’s nothing I love more than painting the toe nails of beautiful pregnant men.” His voice was warm with affection.  
Harry laughed, there was a warmth in his eyes that made Louis' heart beat fast. If they were in a movie, he was sure the background song for now would be Sledgehammer by Fifth Harmony because God, was his heart rate going at a faster pace. He crouched before Harry and placed his legs on his lap, picking up the pink nail polish.  
“Just don’t sneak a peek at my goodies.” Harry teased, making a show of folding his towel properly over his crotch.  
Louis laughed loudly, his eyes crinkling at the sides. He went ahead doing Harry’s nails, not looking up at him, “You say that like you wouldn’t like it.”  
Harry's his heart skipped a beat, “And what if I would?”  
Louis held his breath, biting his lip. Was he really flirting with Louis? He was his professor.  
Louis looked up at him, drinking in the sight of the boy sat before him. Harry’s hair was wet, his eyes were wide and his lips, his lips looked sensual and. . . and kissable.  
He dropped the nail polish carelessly onto the tiled floor, kneeling properly before Harry who still had that look on his face. Louis had never seen him look more beautiful.  
The rope around Louis' chest drew tight and for one heart stopping moment he was sure he’d never be able to breathe again. But something snapped, – not the rope, but something in his head– and a voice said, you’re in love with this man, you flaming fool. And Louis knew it was true.  
Harry was wonderful and Louis was crazy in love with him.  
There was a warmth in Harry’s eyes again, warmth and that ever-present look of desire. The one that had surfaced that afternoon. Harry lowered his head and lifted his mouth to meet Louis' and they were kissing.  
They were actually kissing.  
Harry’s hands gripped onto the front of Louis’s shirt and pulled him ever closer, his feet kicking the nail polish.  
He kissed hungrily, pulling as close as possible. He wanted to intertwine himself with every part of Harry. Louis kissed him fervently, his tongue sweeping past any pretence of hesitancy.  
Harry sighed into him, feeling a calm wash over them. It was so right. So utterly, perfectly right. Harry slipped his hands down Louis’s chest, hovering over the button of his jeans. Harry wanted this. He didn’t know before how much he’d craved it, but now he knew.  
He popped the button, quickly unzipping Louis’ jeans.  
Louis froze. As suddenly as it had started, the kiss stopped.  
Louis pulled away like he had suddenly realised where they were and what was happening, holding onto Harry’s hands tightly.  
“Lou,” Harry said, trying to reach out for him, a pout of confusion on his face.  
“I want you. Want you so bad, Lou.”  
Louis eyes slipped over Harry, holding onto his hands like a lifeline.  
“Harry, you don’t want this.”  
“But–,” Harry shook his head, trying to break free of his hold, his lips swollen, pupils blown, and cheeks flushed.  
“No, Harry. No.” Louis said a little bit more harsh than intended.  
Harry was taken aback. So was Louis.  
“Haz, I didn’t mean–,” Louis quickly apologised, running a hand through his hair.  
Harry shook his head, looking away with a hurt expression on his face. He murmured out a rushed apology and held his towel tight against himself, not glancing once in Louis’s direction as he rushed out of the bathroom.  
Louis’s heart sank as he stood rooted to the spot watching Harry leave. He inhaled deeply, walking to the sink mirror and staring back at his reflection.  
He was stupid. So stupid.

 

___

Louis hadn’t realised how much stress planning a baby shower could bring, and coupled together with school work, and lectures Louis felt like he was in way over his head. However, at the same time he also felt a sting of pride raise inside of him as he walked around the garden with Mrs. Wila, the event planner his mum had recommended, as they went on and on about the arrangements and set up.  
This had to be perfect for Harry.  
He was quiet beside Mrs. Wila as she filled Louis in on every detail. The baby shower theme he had chosen was to be an all white mermaid event. He had chosen to use the family vineyard gardens, much to the joy of his mother. Louis smiled, Jay had always told him that her first grandchild’s baby shower and birthday was going to be there and it had meant a lot to him when she insisted he threw Harry’s baby shower here.  
Jay knew all about Harry’s situation because Louis was such a mummy’s boy and couldn’t seem to keep anything from her. She also knew that they weren’t officially together, despite the obvious attraction, but like always she stayed Louis biggest cheerleader and she had told him, “I’m rooting for Larry.” Louis had been confused on who Larry was, but Jay had been quick to explain that it was just a combination of their names. Louis plus Harry equals Larry.  
She just as much considered Harry’s baby her grandchild already.

“Over there is the white rose flower wall you asked for.” Said Mrs. Willa, pointing over to the huge standing flower wall made of white roses that Louis had ordered. He had also ordered a thousand white orchids and lilies. Go big or go home, he guessed.  
“Also, the white orchids and lilies arrived and have been put in place.”  
Louis nodded, surveying the whole place. It was stunning.  
Everything was white and magical. From the seats and the table décor, to the white carpet and the white sparkling lamps hanging from a tree. White mermaid shaped vases and handmade flower crowns made with white lilies sat upon the table. He’d even ordered a mermaid shaped ice sculpture with ARIEL written along the base.  
“Everything is all set and in place.” Mrs. Willa proclaimed proudly, “The guests should be arriving soon.”  
Louis smiled. He really hoped Harry was as thrilled by all of this as he was. After all, it was the best peace offering he felt he could offer after what happened between them in Harry’s bathroom.

___  
“Can I take this off now?” Harry said, feeling around at the blindfold he had on.  
“No!” Niall and Liam said in sync for the umpteenth time, Niall grabbing at his hand pulling it away from the blindfold.  
“Just a little bit more, Harry. We’ll be there soon.” Zayn’s voice came from Harry’s left.  
Harry wrinkled his nose, snorting,  
“You said that like 10 minutes ago Zayn. First, you lot forced me into these clothes, then you pushed me into a car at the promise of a surprise and then you blindfolded for God knows how long. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you lot were trying to kidnap me.”  
Liam rolled his eyes at Harry’s overdramatic attitude, while Niall just laughed.  
“Patience, young Harry. We’ll soon get to the promise land, your Canaan land.” Niall patted Harry’s belly softly.  
“Watch your step Harry, a bit further.” Zayn said quietly.  
Harry let himself be led forward, his hands in Zayn’s on one side and Niall’s on the other. He wondered where Louis was. After their kiss last week, Louis had avoided Harry at all costs, they’d both seen a lot less of each other and other than the occasional phone call everyday, Harry missed Louis. He guessed it was easier for Louis to talk over the phone than face to face. Obviously Louis regretted what had happened and Harry was hurt by all that had occurred afterwards.  
They came to a halt.  
“We’re here” Zayn said excitedly, loosening the blindfold and typing out a quick text on his phone, “I’m taking off your blindfold now.”  
Harry opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. This place was beautiful. Absolute paradise.  
Everything was white and beautiful. He walked excitedly along the white carpet at the entrance to the garden in front of him.  
“Oh my god, guys! You did all this for me?” He turned to the three men who had matching grins on each of their faces. Liam was tucked into Zayn's side, and Niall had his arms folded in satisfaction, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”  
“It’s all Louis,” Liam grinned at Harry, “He planned it all. We just helped a little by getting you here.”  
“Louis did this?” He was smiling big now, tears forming in his eyes, making them glisten amongst the fairy lights. His friends nodded.  
“Where is he?”  
“Finally!” A female voice sounded from behind them, high and soft, “They’re here.”  
Harry turned around to see a woman walk through the garden towards them, Louis in tow behind her. She was dressed in a pure white, off-the-shoulder, fitted evening gown. Her hair cascaded down her back and a flower crown was placed perfectly upon her head.  
“Jay!” Zayn said, rushing into her arms as she pulled him into a tight, familiar hug.  
Louis caught Harry’s eyes and he smiled at him. Harry blushed.  
“And you must be Harry. Come here love.” She drew him into a big hug, rubbing his back lightly. She drew back to get a good look at him, “You really are beautiful, darling. Totally glowing with the pregnancy.” Her eyes were crinkling at the said just like Louis’ did, Harry could see the striking resemblance between mother and son now that he really looked. He blushed hard under her stare.  
“Aww he’s a shy one,” She teased, looking back at Louis, “I’m Johannah Deakin,” She introduced herself, still holding onto Harry's waist, “I’m little Peter Pan's mum.” She grinned mischievously.  
“Mum!” Louis said, stomping his foot like a child, “Don’t call me that, we agreed you wouldn’t embarrass me.”  
She turned and stuck her tongue out at him,  
“You suggested it sweetheart, I never agreed.” Louis stuck out his tongue back at her.  
“Little Peter Pan?” Niall said amongst his laughter, “That’s a great one.”  
“Oh! We’ve got an Irish one!” Jay squeaked like a child given a sweet, “And you are?”  
“Niall, M’lady” Niall bowed before her.  
“And he’s even got manners. Oh, Louis you could learn from this one,” She winked at her son, “And you must be Zayn’s boy, Liam. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smiled at Liam, who buried his flushed face into Zayn’s back, “You are just adorable.”  
She took Harry’s hand, pulling him along gently, “Come along now boys, it’s about starting.” She said, signalling to Louis with her eyes.  
“Surprise!”  
Harry was dumbfounded. Tears of joy formed in his eyes again.  
Harry looked around at the sea of faces. Everyone was here. All his friends and even some unknown faces; Perrie, Danielle, Cara, Alexa, but there was also, Charlie and Jack, his full class from psychology, Amber Boone was waving at him excitedly, some of his friends from his weekly book club, his therapist Jill and… holy crap, his mum and step-dad. Harry choked on a happy sob.  
“Mum! Robin!”  
It was like coming home. Anne squeaked in delight as she came running up to hug her son. Louis almost teared up at the genuine delight on her face as she held Harry close and kissed his cheek.  
“Baby, look at you,” Her voice was thick with tears as she examined her son, “Oh god, you’re glowing. How’s this little one? Hope she’s being an angel and not kicking too much?” She put her hands softly on her son’s tummy.  
Harry flushed hard,  
“She is a kicker, this one.”  
“Aha! She takes after you then. Just like her daddy.”  
Her delight then turned to Louis, “Louis thank you so much for putting all this together, what a lucky lad my baby is,” She wrapped him up in a hug that was way too close to a mother’s love than Louis’ emotions could handle right now, “It’s so good to see someone care about him so much like this.” She said into his ear.  
Then she went to hug Jay, “Thank you so much for raising such a kind boy. I feel so lucky to have met you all.”  
Harry’s eyes shimmered and he caught Louis’s eye, holding his stare briefly, Harry fell easily into his warm gaze. He looked up at his mum.  
“Who called you? How was the drive down?” He asked.  
Anne laughed, still holding onto Jay, “Jay tracked me down. She got my number and we got to speaking on the phone and last week she drove down to Cheshire herself, she showed up unexpectedly on our doorstep and asked us to your surprise baby shower that Louis and the boys were planning. In fact we’ve been at the villa since yesterday afternoon, Robin and I. We feel right at home here.”  
“The villa?” Harry said, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion, he turned to Jay with a shy smile and pulled her in for another hug, “I have no idea how to thank you for all the lengths you went through for me. Thank you for looking out for my parents.”  
Jay’s face softened as she pulled him in,  
“It was no trouble at all. You’re family now, all of you.” She looked at Liam and Niall, “Anne and Robin are lovely, I haven’t felt so close to a person so quickly the way I have done with them. And I’m hoping you’ll drop by the villa with Louis soon.”  
Harry nodded timidly,  
“Now, can someone get me the flower crown made for the baby daddy.” She said to one of the event’s hired ushers.  
“I go for a 10 minute phone call and everyone is having a family reunion without me. Nice one.” Gemma said from behind them in faux annoyance.  
“Gems!” Harry said in excitement, rushing to hug his older sister.  
“Easy there kiddo. Someone missed me,” She ruffled his hair playfully, kissing his cheek, “Wow, Lou wasn’t lying, you look good. I wanna look as elegant as you when my time comes.” She said teasingly, “Hey, you two dickheads” She greeted Liam and Niall, “Your asses too big for a sister hug? I’m crushed.” Niall and Liam grinned, throwing their arms around her, “That’s more like it.”  
Harry waited until they’d finished before saying, “How did you know about this?”  
She shrugged, “Little Peter Pan,” She gestured to Louis earning a whine from him,  
“You too, Gems? For God’s sake.” She laughed,  
“Don’t be a cry baby, Tommo you’re fine.” She turned back to Harry,  
“He hit me up on WhatsApp and we spoke for like an hour, talking about our undying love for Reddington and mutual hatred of Sigmund Freud, then he updated me on all this. I arrived this morning, Jay as been so wonderful about the whole thing.” She had a smile on her face as she spoke. Harry pinched her cheek fondly.  
“Thanks, Gem.”  
She batted at his hands.  
“I think we should all be thanking Louis, after all he pulled this together just for you. You’re damn lucky, H.”  
Harry looked over at Louis, mouthing a silent thank you. Louis shrugged, pocketing his hands like it was nothing.  
“Now let’s get started. I wanna drink.” Niall said, pushing past everyone to pick up a flute of champagne from a nearby table.  
Jay tugged on Harry’s hand, placing the pink lily flower crown that had been made especially for him onto his head,  
“Off we go Darling. We’re getting this party started.”  
Harry smiled.  
___  
The party went more excellently than expected. Louis’s sister, Lottie had arrived in the middle of the party and had fawned over Harry in a similar way to Jay. He liked her, she had Louis’s wit.  
Lottie and Gemma had gotten pretty competitive over the baby scrabble game. Both of lost to Cara in the end. Even Louis and the boys had participated in the diaper manufacturing game, as well as changing time. Louis and Niall won the first, while Zayn and Liam won changing time. Harry had also had fun participating in the name that nursery rhyme game and everyone had had a good laugh during the diaper fashion segment, both Harry’s mum and Jay had ended up in a complete outfit made of diapers from head to toe.  
Over the course of the day Harry got so many non-alcoholic cocktails he had lost count. He danced and threw foam and glitter until he felt 3 years old rather than 21. By the evening, they wheeled out a huge mermaid shaped cake with sparklers spelling Ariel.  
“Having fun?” Louis said fondly, taking a seat beside Harry and reaching over to intwine their hands.  
”The best!” Harry said before pulling a rather surprised Louis into a bone crushing hug. It didn’t last very long though as Harry pulled away with an adorable blush on his face.  
“Can we talk?” Louis asked quietly, his eyes warm and gentle.  
Harry nodded, letting Louis help him to his feet as they walked away from the ongoing party.  
“So…” Louis began nervously, “Did you have fun?”  
Harry looked at him incredulously,  
“Fun? Louis, I loved it. I loved everything. Thank you.”  
Louis looked relieved, smiling wide,  
“I’m glad.”  
Harry pulled him close and hugged him tight,  
“Thank you so much Lou. You make me feel so special.” He whispered.  
He pulled back, “About last week…”  
Louis breath hitched. Oh God, he thought warily.  
“I’d like to apologise for what happened. It was totally out of line of me and I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that. I understand that you regret it.”  
Louis rubbed at his forehead in frustration at himself.  
“Harry listen. I don’t regret what happened. If we went back in time I would do it over again every time.” The words were spilling out and he didn’t try to retract them, “I care about you a great deal Harry and I would be lying if I told you I haven’t fallen hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. I think I've loved you ever since you showed up at my office drenched from the rain and shaking like a leaf.”  
He had no idea where the words were coming from but he knew he had to let them out. Now or never, “Even when I had no idea what had you so closed off, I knew my heart belonged to you. I feel that more deeply with each passing day. All I ever want is to hold you. I want you in the ‘Forever and Always, Until Death Do Us Part’ way. I want more than just picking out baby clothes with you and holding your hand through each step.” He took a breath,  
”Harry, I want nothing more than to just be with you, I want help raise your baby – our baby - I want to give her the best life possible. I want Harry is to be her father and your spouse. I want for us to build a family together, and if I have to wait forever until you’re ready for that, then I will.”  
Silence sat heavy between them for a moment. Louis held his breath as he waited for Harry to say something. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel a sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. Harry's expression was completely unreadable.  
Then he was pulling Louis in by his collar and attaching their lips.  
The softness of Harry’s lips took Louis by surprise and the sweetness of his kiss took his breath away.  
It was dizzying. The earth seemed to lose gravity as he pulled Harry closer by the waist slowly and sensuously. He languidly explored Harry’s mouth with his, deepening the kiss.  
“Louis.” Harry whispered, pressing their foreheads together, “You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that.” He shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. Louis wiped at his eyes instinctively.  
Harry gave a small smile, “Out of everything that’s happened, I can’t change a thing, but I can let it stop haunting me and try to heal the scars it left. And I can only do that if you're here Lou. What I have with you, – what we’ve found in each other, is once in a lifetime and I’ll be damned if I let it pass me by.”  
He grabbed Louis’ hand and placed it on his chest, “My heart beats for you, and I am more than ready to start a new chapter of my life with you. I’m getting better with each day and it’s all thanks to you. Your love and support, along with the boys and my family, has gotten me this far and there’s no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with than with you. And I’m certain that little Ariel would be more than lucky to have you as her father.”  
Louis looked into Harry's eyes. His gaze was soft and full of tenderness which made Louis’ stomach swoop. He leaned forward slowly and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss, trying to convey just how much he appreciated Harry’s words.  
“So, we’re really doing this?” Louis muttered against his lips, “We're really gonna give us a chance? We're gonna be boyfriends?”  
Harry nodded, not speaking. Not needing to.  
They stood like that, smiling at each other, faces close.  
“So, what’s all this about a villa everyone’s been talking about? And how was one able to secure such a beautiful vineyard as this?” Harry said, looking fondly at his boyfriend. Boyfriend. He could definitely get used to that.  
“The villa is where my mum lives. It’s in South London. And this place is my family’s.”  
Harry looked at him with a confused expression on his face, “Your mum owns a villa and your family owns this huge vineyard? Babe, stop joking. I'm not stupid.” He placed his hands on his hips.  
Louis watched Harry with amusement, “Ever heard of De Cerés winery?”  
Harry nodded, still confused, “What has that got to with this?”  
“Everything, love” Louis laughed softly, “You’re speaking to the sole heir of De Cerés winery and vineyard baby.”  
Harry's face morphed into a mixture of shock and offence, “You’re kidding me.” He asked, “Are you for real Louis? You’re the heir of the largest wine making company in the world?”  
He nodded his head, amused,  
“My mum’s currently the president of Len and sons, but I’m the CEO. My granddad founded the company 50 years ago. Like I told you, they were all bummed when I chose to study psychology instead of business management. It was because I wanted to make a name for myself outside my family’s money and name. Grandad Len left the company to me when he died two years ago.” He explained it all as Harry listened with rapt attention,  
“Although Mum’s in charge and runs the daily business transactions, I make major executive decisions and am fully involved in the company’s management.”  
“I can’t believe you kept this from me, Lou.” Harry pouted.  
Louis laughed, hands on Harry’s cheeks with his thumbs stroking his face lightly,  
“Forgive me, love.”  
Harry pretended to think about it, trying to hide his smile,  
“Hmm… I suppose you’re forgiven.” He pulled Louis close, “So, do I get free wine now?”  
Louis chuckled, “You can have as much free wine as you want. You can only start indulging yourself after you pop out our little girl though.”  
Our little girl. He liked the sound of that.  
Harry laughed, “Okay. Now, kiss me you fool.”  
“Gladly.” Louis laughed, joining their lips together.

 

___  
Liam looked at Zayn, his gaze soft as he watched him navigate the car through the empty roads. The baby shower had been a roaring success and everyone seemed to have the time of their lives. Throughout the entire seven years he’d known Harry, Liam couldn’t remember a time he’d seen his best friend so happy. The glow in his cheeks had intensified after he'd briefly disappeared from the celebration and returned later with Louis in tow. Liam had a feeling it had a lot to do with Louis himself and he couldn’t be happier that they were finally giving themselves a chance. Harry deserved all the love in the world, and Louis seemed more than happy to do just that.  
However, when he saw Jay with Harry, introducing him to all her wealthy elite friends, he felt a tightening in his chest. He wanted that. He wanted his future mother in-law to proudly show him off as her son’s partner. He wanted to be fawned upon by his spouse’s family and friends. He wanted to be fully out with Zayn.  
He looked at Zayn, whose concentration was fully on the road. There was something about the way he looked; his soft, golden skin in the dimmed street lights, his tattoos dancing up his arms and raven hair slicked back with just a hint of gel remaining after the day’s events. His white Givenchy blazer hung loosely over his seat, and his distressed jean hung low on his hips. He wore a white Prada winter collection ’15 henley shirt, which rode up a little to expose a sliver of stomach and hip. His fingers gripped the steering wheel, and his usual smile that radiated the colour in his cheeks was nothing but a ghost on his face. His pink lips were soft-looking and his lashes were long and casting shadows against Zayn’s cheeks. There was a sprinkling of stubble dusting his defined jaw and Liam knew that in the morning his stubble will be darker, stripping away the current look of youth for mystery. A gold Rolex watch sat on his wrist and an untouched packet of cigarettes laid on the dashboard.  
Liam’s sighed loudly, not realising they were home until Zayn drove through the gates, parking his car carefully.  
“Are you okay, baby?” Zayn turned in his seat towards Liam, stroking his knee softly.  
Liam smiled and nodded, “Yeah. Just…” He trailed off, “It’s nothing, nevermind.”  
“C’mon tell me, Jaan.” He pouted.  
“I swear it’s nothing.” Liam assured, then muttered quietly, “It’s stupid.”  
“Please tell me, babe. You know I hate seeing you so upset.”  
Liam sighed, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, eyes trained downwards,  
“What would you say if I told you, I also want to have a baby? I want to meet your family, I want to get to know your sisters and cousins, and everybody who matters. I guess I’m kind of jealous and wishing it were us in Harry and Louis’ place. I want all of it with you Zayn. I want everything.”  
Zayn looked at his boyfriend, his expression unclear in the darkness of the car.  
“You know I can’t baby…” Zayn shook his head, “Not for now anyway.”  
Liam nodded, reaching out to hold Zayn’s hand and stroking his knuckles reassuringly. He knew what Zayn was talking about. After the incident in the office with Zayn’s mum, he had come clean to Liam about everything about how he was in the closet to his family and coming out would have meant losing everything.  
“Hey, look at me,” He lifted Zayn’s chin, smiling at him stroking his face tenderly, “I know we spoke about it baby, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still want everything with you eventually.”  
Zayn nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.  
Liam continued, “You know I feel about you, right? I don’t want to ever lose you.”  
“Mera pyaar.” Zayn spoke in Urdu, leaning over and capturing Liam’s lips a kiss. Liam responded immediately, bringing his hands up to Zayn's chest, licking into his mouth.  
Zayn palmed at Liam’s crotch as they kissed, eliciting a throaty moan from him.  
“I want to make love to you.” Zayn breathed against Liam lips, “I want to start on making this baby now.”  
Liam nodded quickly, his eyes clouded with lust. He wanted it, he wanted all of it. Zayn quickly got out of the car and walked over to Liam’s side, opening the door and scooping him bridal style into his arms, laughing.  
They couldn’t have gotten quicker into the house any quicker and as soon as the door was shut, Liam was attaching his lips back to Zayn’s as he followed his steps up towards the bedroom.  
Everything went from fast to slow in a moment. Zayn placed Liam gently on the bed like he was a porcelain doll and would break at any moment. Liam went to work immediately, popping the buttons of Zayn’s jeans and pushing them past his bum and down his legs.  
“Aap khubsurat hain,” Zayn pressed against his skin, kissing down his body, “So, so beautiful.”

___  
Liam placed his head on Zayn’s chest, listening to his steady heart beat and watching the rise and fall of his chest as the moonlight shone over his sleeping features. Liam had never seen anyone look so peaceful. He smiled, trailing his hands slowly down Zayn’s chest as memories of the evening came flooding back.  
He’d never been with anyone who made love as passionately as Zayn did. Sex wasn’t just sex with Zayn, it was a whole new experience.  
The doorbell rang suddenly. Once. Twice. Then a third time.  
Liam looked at the clock on the bedside table. 11:25pm Who would be at Zayn’s door this late?  
“Zayn,” He gently tried to shake him awake, whispering softly, “Baby, wake up.”  
Zayn stirred, mumbling incoherently and falling back asleep.  
The door bell rang again for longer this time.  
Liam sighed, pecking Zayn’s lips lightly then slowly getting out of bed and putting on his boxers which were discarded carelessly a few hours before.  
“Just a sec, I’m coming.” He called out, running to the door.  
“I’m sorry Zayn’s–,” Liam’s voice trailed off, looking at the man standing in front of him. Liam swallowed, holding on to the door with a death grip.  
“And you are?” The man asked, contempt filling his tone. He looked at Liam, his distaste visible in his expression.  
Liam shrunk in on himself as Zayn approached behind him.  
“Who is it love?” Zayn said, his voice thick, heavy with sleep.  
The man shoved past Liam and walked into the house,  
“Zayn, what is going on here?”  
Liam winced at the man’s harsh tone, closing the door gently behind him so as not to anger him more.  
“Waalid?” Zayn looked at his father, his own sleepiness from before all but gone, “Kush’aamdid.” He stuttered.  
“What the hell is going on here, and who is this man opening your door?” Yaser's voice echoed through the hallway, his eyes were furious.  
Zayn was visibly shaking now, “Dad, I can explain.”  
“After everything I’ve done for you, after how well your mother and I brought you up,” Yaser's voice was filled with disgust, “You dare tarnish my name by sinning with this,” He pointed towards Liam, “Commoner.”  
Liam was stunned at the harshness of Yaser’s words.  
“You are a disgrace! A disgrace to me and the family name. No son of mine is ever going to be a faggot!”  
He turned on his heels, eyeing Liam, “Stay away from my son.” He brushed past him angrily, “Kutta!” He cursed, slamming the door behind him.  
Zayn fell to the floor, rubbing at his face.  
He couldn’t breathe.  
Louis. He needed Louis.  
“Zayn,” Liam kneeled beside the older man.  
Zayn looked up at Liam, his eyes red-rimmed.  
“Go, Liam. Just leave. Please.”  
Liam was taken aback.  
“Baby, I –”  
“Go! Just go! Leave me alone.” Zayn screamed.  
Liam’s eye were filled with hurt, understanding finally hitting him. He took himself to the bedroom, getting dressed in a daze.  
He stopped at the door, taking one last look at Zayn’s crying form on the floor. His heart clenched, breaking inside his chest.  
“I love you.” He mumbled, closing the door.  
Later, Zayn doesn’t know how had long passed, but Louis found him in much the same state, curled into a ball with tears still streaming down his face. He could barely breathe, but he also couldn't stop crying. Louis didn’t ask, he didn’t need to. He just hugged him from behind, pressing his chest against Zayn’s back and putting a blanket over the two of them, trying to stop Zayn’s shivering. Louis whispered softly into his hair,  
“Its okay, I’ve got you Zee.” He somehow managed to get Zayn up and into the bathroom, and placing him gently in the bathtub, hot water soothing him in a way not much else could.  
Louis tucked him in, kissing his forehead lightly and then switched off the lights.  
___  
The next two months were odd for Louis and Harry. They were odd because it didn’t feel strange that everything was suddenly different between them. Getting up for work was the same because Harry had practically stayed at Louis’s most of the time beforehand. The only difference was having breakfast together with Louis in the morning, which was very nice indeed. Coming home together was the same (because home for Harry, was wherever Louis was). Chatting about their days over a cup of tea was the same, attending Harry’s ante-natal together was the same. But Harry hugging Louis from behind as he cooked dinner was different, snuggling on the couch in front of the TV while sharing occasional kisses was different.  
Harry had never been so happy. He was on cloud nine. He was in love.  
___  
Harry quietly snuck into class and with a smile etched on his face he watched Louis ramble on about something to his students. He was lecturing a second year class right now and they were all listening to him with rapt attention. He hadn’t yet noticed Harry at the back of the room.  
“So, that’ll be all for today. We’ll be having a presentation next week, and I want everyone involved in their group topic. Have a lovely day.” Louis dismissed the class, turning towards his desk, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes.  
Harry watched the students file out, some greeting him and others giving him a less than subtle once-over.  
“If I were you, I’d stop hiding back there.” Louis voice called out, affection evident.  
Harry grinned. Louis had spotted him.  
“More like I was admiring the view,” He said, holding on to his bag and walking up to Louis, “Can a guy not admire his boyfriend’s arse anymore, or what?” He grinned.  
Louis stretched out, pulling Harry in for a kiss. He kissed hungrily at the Harry’s lips, biting slightly and eliciting a low groan from him. Harry broke free, knocking their heads together lazily and fisting the front of Louis’ shirt.  
“I missed you today love,” Louis said softly, his eyes filled with warmth, “I missed you all day long.”  
“Not as much as I did.” Harry pecked his lips lightly.  
“How’s the little one doing in there?” Louis bent down to place a light kiss on Harry’s tummy, “Good day, I hope?”  
“She wouldn’t stop kicking in HR. I guess she hates Mr. Gallagher as much as I do, most boring man in the world, he is.” Harry said, his cheeks dimpling as he laughed, Louis instinctively poked at his cheeks when he saw Harry smile.  
Harry swatted at his hands playfully.  
“Well, I guess she’s just like her Dad then.”  
Harry hummed, then pushed his lips back onto Louis’ and wrapped his arms around his neck. Harry sighed blissfully as Louis’ tongue found its way into his mouth. Louis kissed like he was on a mission to unlock all the hidden wonders of Harry’s mouth.  
“Louis, Thank god I caught yo–” Babs burst into the room, both men jumping at the sound of the her voice, “Oooh,” She said teasingly, “The lovebirds.”  
Harry was blushing hard, his face in Louis’ neck as he fiddled with his shirt.  
“Hiya Babs.” Louis greeted, trying and failing to school his expression into something less amused.  
“Hello you two,” She said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “Nice to see you Harry, I can see just from the back of your head that you're glowing, honey.”  
Harry turned around and waved sheepishly,  
“Hello, Miss Babs.”  
Babs grinned, her eyes glistening with mirth,  
“Come off it, Harry dear. You’re with one of us now, so you get special treatment. Just call me Babs.” She turned to Louis, passing him some papers.  
“Thank God I caught you love, the dean sent me to ask you to look over this presentation please.”  
Louis took the papers, flicking through quickly.  
“Erm.. Okay. I’ll go over it and get back to you.”  
She grinned toothily, “Okay then, excellent. Bye boys. See ya both later.”  
“See you later, Babs” Louis said to her retreating figure.  
Harry burst out laughing, holding onto Louis for support, “Imagine how awkward that would have been if it had be one of your students.”  
Louis rolled his eyes, “You say that like you wouldn’t have liked that even more.”  
Harry shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not.” Then he tugged on Louis’s hand, “C’mon babe, let’s go. I’m starving. I can hear my stomach grumbling.”  
Louis turned back to his desk, packing up his things, “Here,” he pulled Harry’s bag off his shoulder, “Let me carry that for you.”  
Harry pinched his cheek fondly. “Ever the gentleman, Louis Tomlinson.”  
They walked out, hands entwined together and a slight bounce in Harry’s step.  
“I’m craving Chinese and pizza. Together.” He said, earning a laugh from Louis.  
“You can have whatever you want, love.”  
___  
Zayn stared into the air in deep thought. The past two months without Liam had been hell. He missed him terribly.  
After the incident that night, he had gotten a call the next day from his father, who had made the decision to forgive Zayn, and forget about what happened. All Zayn had to do was stop seeing Liam and agree to an arranged marriage with a girl his father picked out for him. Her name was Kareena, and she was beautiful and kind. She wasn’t Liam though, and Zayn didn’t love her.  
He was miserable and had no outlet to let out the pain he felt. Usually he would go to Louis and have him help forget, but Louis was taken now. Louis was happy. Really, genuinely happy with Harry.  
He couldn’t even begin to think of the betrayal Liam have must felt. They hadn’t spoken once in the course the past two months and Zayn had been careful in avoiding him whenever he hung out with Louis, Harry and Niall. To be honest, he probably hadn’t encountered Liam those months because he was also avoiding Zayn. Neither Harry or Niall had said much about his welfare either.  
Zayn felt broken. His life seemed empty and void.  
He didn’t hear his office door open and close until his mother tapped lightly him on the shoulder.  
“Beta,” She spoke softly, looking at him affectionately.  
Zayn smiled sadly at her,  
“Mama” His voice broke as he choked on his tears.  
Tricia hugged her son, his head pressed against her stomach as he cried. She kept stroking his back gently, whispering sweetly to him,  
“Mera Beta. My sweet, sweet baby.”  
Zayn cried harder. He didn’t want to hold back, he didn’t need to. He was broken and he needed comfort from his mum. His mum held him in her arms as he cried.  
When he finally stopped, she made him a cup of hibiscus tea to help calm him and then sat him on the large cream sofa that was in his office.  
“You love him, don’t you?”  
There was a long pause. Tricia’s question hung in the air.  
Zayn looked at his mother.  
He nodded.  
“With all my heart, Ma. I love him so much.”  
Tricia sipped her tea, silence settling over them again.  
“You know, your grandfather never wanted your father to marry me. It would have been over his dead body if his son married a white Catholic woman.”  
Tricia pulled Zayn towards her, placing his head on her chest.  
“He threw a fit and threatened to disown Yaser,” She spoke, running her fingers through his hair, “He probably would have, but your dad was adamant. He stood his ground and refused to marry a woman his father chose for him who he didn’t love.”  
Zayn sighed.  
“It hurts me to see him do the same to you Zaynie, but you know what hurts me more,” She lifted Zayn’s head, looking him in the eyes, “Is you not standing up and fighting for your own happiness. Don’t let your father take away the thing that means the most to you. Sitting here wallowing in pit of your own misery does nothing. Zayn, if there’s one thing I know, it's that you are no coward.”  
Zayn grimaced, his mother’s words hitting a nerve.  
“I didn’t bring you up with fire in your belly just so you could put it out. You fight, Zayn. Fight for what you believe in.”  
“Ma,” Zayn’s words were choked.  
Tricia looked at Zayn, wiping away her son’s tears, “Zayn, look at me. I love you so much. Nothing is ever gonna change that, not even you been gay. I mean, I’ll be honest with you, I’ve had an inkling since you were a perky adolescent and I’ve waited every day for you to tell me. I love you, baby.”  
Zayn put his arms around his Mother, hugging her tight to try and convey his gratitude towards her.  
“Me samajh giya.” She whispered.  
___  
Liam curled up on the sofa, a blanket spread over his lap. It was gloomy and grey outside, a perfect representation of his mood for the past few months. He had never been so heartbroken before. The first month without Zayn had been hell, Liam could barely function. He missed out on so many classes, got hammered every night and came home in the early hours of the morning to a worried Niall and Harry. He literally felt his heart breaking into pieces.  
What hurt most was the fact, that Zayn hadn’t contacted once him in the past two months. Admittedly he didn’t expect him to, but it still hurts.  
A light knock sounded on Liam’s door.  
He groaned, hoping whoever it was would just leave eventually, he looked like shit and he wasn’t in the mood to see anybody right now.  
The knock sounded again.  
And again.  
Liam groaned, dragging himself up from the sofa towards the door.  
“What do y-” Liam began, but he froze when he saw who was at the door.  
“Tricia?” Liam’s voice came out in a disbelieving squeak as he stood rooted to the spot.  
Tricia smiled softly at him,  
“May I come in?” She said.  
Liam gestured her forward,  
“Absolutely, forgive my manners.” His heart was beating hard and his expression was confused.  
He recovered quickly and approached Zayn’s mother slowly. Tricia looked every bit like royalty in her blue suit that screamed Dolce and Gabbana, and smart off white stilettos.  
“What may I do for you?” His hands were shaking nervously, surely she couldn’t be here to tell him to back off from Zayn when they hadn’t seen each other in months.  
“Take a seat, Liam.” Her voice was cool and calm.  
Liam sat opposite her on the sofa,  
“This is about Zayn, right?”  
She nodded.  
“With all due respect Tricia, if you’re here to tell me to stop seeing Zayn then I’ll tell you now that there’s no need. Your son and I haven’t been in contact for two months.”  
“He loves you a great deal, Liam.” Tricia ignored Liam’s words, “I’ve never seen him so happy with someone like he is when he’s with you. Not even that fortune hunter bastard who broke his heart three years ago.”  
Liam looked at her, disbelieving.  
“Liam,” She took his hand, startling him with the more than friendly gesture, “I know Zayn has hurt you. I know he has done a lot more than you’re letting on, but I want you to know that he is hurting too. Whatever you two have is special, it's really special, and I don’t want you giving up on him just yet.”  
Liam sniffed, his eyes getting cloudy with emotion,  
“Tricia, Zayn and I–”  
“–are two cowards who are too scared to fight for what they want. I’ve always liked you Liam, but I didn’t peg you to be a quitter, so don’t disappoint me, beta.”  
Beta. Liam’s heart leapt. She had called him son.  
“Come here,” She wrapped her arms around him, engulfing him in a warm motherly hug, “Please don’t give up on him. I’m tired of seeing him hurt.”

 

___  
“I think it looks gorgeous,” Harry cried excitedly, looking in awe at the new nursery. It was painted in a pure white from the floor to the ceiling, with an overlay of blue, ocean themed art. There were stuffed bears and kid’s toys, some the baby wouldn’t be playing with until she was at least a year old. There was a huge walk-in closet filled with all sort of clothes and shoes, some of which were tailor made especially for her, with ”Ariel” printed on in bold, from onesies, to a row of baby grows, dresses, shirts, shorts and skirts.  
What blew Harry away was the golden baby cot that Jay had gotten for them. Harry could already see Ariel being massively spoilt and doted on by her grandparents.  
“Trust mum to go all out.” Lottie chuckled fondly, placing her hands on Harry’s waist,  
“She’s always wanted a grandchild, and you have just given her an excuse to indulge. If she had her way, you’d be living with her at the villa instead of here with Louis. Apparently, this place is too small to raise a child.”  
“Tell her thanks for me, yeah?” He was bubbling with excitement, everything was so lovely.  
“You can do that yourself tonight. Don’t tell me Lou forgot to tell you, mum asked you both over to dinner?”  
Harry rolled his eyes at himself, “Yeah he did I just forgot. Fizzy’s back in town, right?”  
Lottie nodded, smiling, “Yep, she can’t wait to see you. I swear that girl is obsessed with your stomach,” She laughed.  
“It’s called baby fever, Lots.” He said, leaning forward to touch his bump to her playfully.  
She put her arms around his neck, hugging him tight, before dragging him out and towards the kitchen. “C’mon Haz, I can feel my stomach grumbling already. I might not be able to put a baby in there now, but at least I can feed the beast.”  
Harry laughed, letting her pull him along,  
“You’re just greedy. It’s no wonder you and Niall get along so well.”  
Lottie’s face immediately lit up, flushing a deep pink at the mention of Niall.  
Harry cackled, “Ooooh, Lottie’s got a crush,” He sang obnoxiously.  
“Shut it, Styles.” She flicked his ear, blushing harder.  
“I’m so telling Lou when he gets back. I can already see it, the Horan/Tomlinson wedding: Party of the year.”  
Lottie didn’t reply and just stuck her tongue out at him, covering her face in embarrassment.  
“I hate you, Harry.”.  
Harry ruffled her hair, pecking her cheek, “You don’t mean that, you love me, Lots.”  
He laughed as she gave him the finger.

___  
Zayn ran through the corridor, breathing fast as he pushed many students out of the way and earned himself a few glares. It was now or never, what was the worst that could happen? Okay, Liam could reject him in public, but nothing could be worse than knowing he never tried to get him back.  
He had taken a week to ponder his mother’s words and he’d decided that he wasn’t going to allow his father take away the one thing that meant the world to him.  
He was in love with Liam. Deeply in love with him.  
“Um, excuse me, where’s the chemistry lab?” He asked a girl dressed in a pale blue dress, panting heavily. She looked at him warily, pointing down the corridor.  
“Straight down and to the left. It’s room 12.”  
Zayn gave her a smile, muttering a thank you.  
He ran down the corridor again, turning left and looking up at the numbers on each room.  
“Sir, may I help you?” The professor, a stout looking man, said to Zayn, who stood at the entrance, scanning around for Liam, “There’s a class going on here, what did you need?”  
“I just need a few minutes, sir. I’d like to see Liam Payne please. This is the CHM 422 class right?”  
Liam felt someone nudge him, waking him from his class nap.  
“What?” His lab partner, Marlie, gestured towards the entrance of the room, “That lad is looking for you.”  
Liam felt his breath hitch as he caught sight of Zayn at the door. He looked as beautiful ever.  
“And you are?” He heard the professor ask skeptically.  
“Zayn Malik, Sir.” Zayn said, an urgency in his voice.  
Recognition lit up on the Professor's face,  
“Oh, Mr. Malik. Do come in.”  
“Thank you, sir. Erm, I’d like to see Liam, please?”  
At that moment, Liam stood up. Their gazes locked.  
Neither moved.  
“Excuse me, I’ll be needing a bit of your teaching time?” Zayn said, looking at the professor for an affirmation. The man nodded.  
Everything else disappeared for Liam as he watched Zayn approach him.  
“Zayn–”  
Zayn shook his head, getting down onto his knee.  
“Liam, I need you to listen to me please. I know I have no right to just show up here after the past few months, but I want you to know how deeply and sincerely I am for everything I’ve done.”  
Liam was crying now, not caring that his class mates were all watching them,  
“There are no crystal balls,” He whispered.  
“Maybe we can find one together.”  
Liam looked into Zayn’s eyes, and realised he was just as scared as Liam was.  
“I know it was stupid of me to let my fears break us apart and it was cowardly of me to let my dad push me around when I should have fought for you. For us. If there’s anything these few months have taught me, it’s that I can’t live without you, Liam. Not happily anyway. You’re my life, my love, my everything. And I’m probably asking too much of you but I’d like to do it all with you, if you’ll have me.”  
Zayn took a deep breath, his gaze unwavering as he put his hand into his pocket and brought out a small black velvet box.  
“Every time I imagine my future I can’t picture a life without you there. I want to wake up with you in my arms every day. I want to have a family with you and raise 12 children with you.”  
Liam chuckled, a small smile etched onto his face as tears flowed down his cheeks.  
“Liam Payne, will you marry me?”  
Liam took in Zayn, kneeling before him and the ring box he held towards Liam with wide, expectant eyes.  
“Yes.” Liam breathed, stretching out his left hand for Zayn to slide on the ring. It was pure gold with a small diamond encrusted in the side. “Yes, Zayn.”  
“Mera Pyaar,” Zayn hugged him tightly before pressing their lips together in a tear-filled kiss as the whole class erupted in cheers and cat calls. Liam smiled against Zayn’s lips.  
“Don’t ever do that to me again, yeah? I couldn’t bear to live without you.”  
Zayn nodded, tears of happiness slid down his face,  
“Never again, Mr Malik-Payne.”  
Liam grinned, “I’d much prefer Mr. Payne-Malik. It has a nicer ring to it, don’t you think?”  
Zayn kissed him again.  
“Mein ap say muhabat karta hoon.”  
___

On November 10, Harry went into labour.  
On November 11 at 2:22am, Arielle Bianca Styles was born at 5lbs 5oz, already the spitting image of her father. She had deep green eyes and dark brown hair.  
Louis had never been so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for Reading!!! Don't forget to click the Kudos and comment button, peeps!.  
> I'm pretty dope to talk to.  
> All constructive criticism welcome!.  
> 


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